"I build spaceships"

This is how Mr E Man described his job when I had my first proper conversation with him. On closer interrogation he turned out to be a carpenter on movie sets, and had just finished building the X Jet and other cool stuff for X2*.

My husband built this! But somehow I still don't have the shoe rack he promised me 3 years ago

A word of advice: if you ever meet one of these people, it is not considered cool to squeal "oooooh, just like Harrison Ford!". Even if said carpenter is hunky and has Harrison Ford-esque scars on his lip and eyebrow.

Luckily he forgave me this transgression, and even the subsequent one, a question that I have heard pretty much every new acquaintance ask him in the almost 6 years since that fateful night:

"Do you get to meet all the stars?"

His answer is always that he sees them from time to time, but that if everyone on the crew tried to meet them, the movie would never get made. So, not really. Although he did make my trekkie Mum very happy with a story about Patrick Stewart buying iced coffees for the whole X2 crew on a hot day. ("Oh, I knew he'd be a nice man. He seems like a nice man. Doesn't he seem nice? I'm glad he's a nice man"). However his attempt to get her Patrick Stewart's autograph on X3 was thwarted, because there was never a good time to break professional ranks and stroll over with a pen in hand.

Mr E Man's job has many benefits for me**:

• Free swag (they mostly hand out t-shirts and jackets in the size that fits the actual crew member, but I have been promised a Night at the Museum 2 jacket in my size. I also have a metal water bottle from the same movie and a very nice leather portfolio binder thingy from a TV show called the Dead Zone)
• Occasional visits to look at sets (soooo cool. I thought they'd look all two dimensional, with clever lighting and camera work making them look real, but standing in the main set for the original Night at the Museum was like standing in an actual natural history museum. The curving staircase looked like real marble, but when I touched it I realised it was actually made of styrofoam. Ditto the authentic-looking Egyptian temple carvings)
• Reflected glory (especially when we took our 5 and 7 year old nephews to see NATM and the 5 year old loudly said "thank you for making this movie, Uncle Mark" at the quietest point in the film)
• Tickets to cast and crew premieres, a day or two before general release (I love these; the extras shout "there I am!" at random moments, and everyone stays for the credits and cheers when they see their own name)
• Wrap parties

I am under strict instructions to "be cool" at these latter events. Yes, even if Hugh Jackman is there (which he never is, sadly). My resolve to follow this advice is very rarely tested however; I've had a director or two pointed out to me, but I've only been to one wrap party with any recognisably famous actors.

It's a good story though. I'd spotted Ben Stiller chatting away to various people and thought "oh, look, it's Ben Stiller" (as you do), and then resumed my conversation with one of Mr E Man's buddies. I love these conversations because everyone always tells me what a great carpenter my husband is - the art director even came up to me once and said "this man saved the movie!".

And then... as we were talking... a tall blond guy strolled by, and very definitely looked at my boobs.

I was, of course, completely outraged. I mean, I wasn't even wearing a name tag! How dare he! But as he passed by, I suddenly realised that it was Owen Wilson.

Mr E Man came back from the (OPEN!!) bar, and I immediately told him that some guy had been checking me out.

"Oh yeah, who?"
"Owen Wilson"
(Quizzical look of the "...and?" variety)
"Pretty cool, eh?!" I said proudly.

I think Mr E Man was quite relieved that I wasn't all scandalised and outraged. Giving one of the movie's biggest stars the old tap on the shoulder would definitely count as breaking professional ranks AND being decidedly uncool.

My point?

NATM II wrap party tonight, baby!! w00t! I will report back... if I survive the (OPEN!!!!) bar.

___________________________________

*he even got a credit! This is a very rare occurrence for most people in the construction department, which is a real shame because they contribute so much to the movie. I've sat through the credits of a lot of terrible movies (all of them with awesome sets, obviously - Chronicles of Riddick being a prime example), just to be disappointed when Mr E Man's name doesn't get listed.

**However I don't appreciate the occasional spoilers that come my way, e.g. on X3:
Me: "so what are you working on right now?"
Mr E Man: "Xavier's tombstone."
Me: "WHAT??!! Noooooooooooo! Don't tell me that!"

All weekends should be long weekends

Seriously, I think I need three days EVERY weekend. Here's what we did this BC Day long weekend:


Saturday: lazy day.

Got up late after being out for dinner and drinks on Friday. Lounged on sofa. Drank tea, made simple breakfast. Read papers. Played with cats. Read book. Played a lot of Risk. Read blogs. Drank more tea. Watched TV. Sent Mr E Man out to forage for food (Thai) and DVDs. Watched Juno (I loved it. Great dialogue and soundtrack, although Jason Bateman and Michael Cera are in danger of overexposure. At least they didn't have any scenes together - given their roles as father and son in Arrested Development, it would have been quite weird. Mr E Man was more ambivalent about this movie). Watched In Bruges (we both really liked it. More great dialogue, and the city looked amazing. I've been to Bruges three times, but am happy to visit for a fourth time to show Mr E Man around and have encore des moules et frites, avec beaucoup des bieres). Snoozed on the sofa. Early night.

After dealing with work crap last week and being out of town for the last few weekends, I really, really needed a day like Saturday.

Sunday: party day (with occasional chores).

Got up late. Lounged on sofa. Drank tea, made simple breakfast. Did weekly grocery run and called my parents. Played with the cats. Headed to Spanish Banks beach for friends' annual BC Day Weekend BBQ. Drank beer, ate hot dogs and cake and fruit. Drank more beer. Realised I was hammered (this happened in a very precariously placed and wobbly port-a-potty) and switched to juice. Adjourned to friends' house for poker (I won some money, Mr E Man broke even). Played with friends' pets, fell asleep on friends' couch. Late night.

Monday: chores day (with occasional movies).

Got up slightly earlier. Drank tea, Mr E Man made super fabulous cooked breakfast. Cleaned and tidied house. Tried to fix crashed computer - it's back up now, but I haven't checked that all my files are still where they should be. Weeded and watered garden (I have one red tomato! And a bunch of green ones that don't seem to want to ripen). Picked peas, eating most of them before they made it into the kitchen. Meanwhile, Mr E Man helped with the cleaning and tidying, washed all the dishes, sorted out our camping gear, and cut the grass. Or rather, the weeds. Played with cats (outside this time).

Got stood up by my scheduled geek date, because he got himself a real date instead. Somehow managed to persuade Mr E Man to take geek date's place and take me to see the new X-Files movie (Good, but not great. If you're a fan then I'd recommend it, but only if you're a fan. The snowy BC mountain scenery did look amazing, but why was this a summer release? I have two regrets related to this movie, the first being much more serious than the second: I realised that the mystery location shoot I'd cycled past every day for a couple of weeks last winter was the set for Billy Connolly's (the preacher's) lodgings. This is just a few blocks South of the Olympic curling venue by the way - is my route to work the most happening part of the city or what?! I can't believe I never stopped to check out the shoot; as big of an X-Files fan as I was/am, I'm a MUCH bigger Billy Connolly fan and would have loved to see him in action. I must be getting complacent about film sets, like native Vancouverites. Also it was dark and bloody freezing at the time, the artificial snow being joined by the real thing on a few occasions. Secondly, according to IMDB the film has an extra scene during the credits that I missed because Mr E Man was desperate to leave by that time. Although he did think the movie was OK, and he was happy to support the local film industry that helps to pay our mortgage).

Drove home, passing the aforementioned movie location on the way. Ordered sushi, ate it while watching The Spiderwick Chronicles (pretty good, for a kids' movie. Quite scary for younger kids though I'd imagine). Early night.

So, overall, the weekend was a perfect blend of rebooting my energy levels, getting all the essential stuff done, seeing friends (and movies!) and generally relaxing.

Why can't every weekend be like this?!

Join my campaign for a four day work week!

"Nazis. I hate these guys".

I was delighted to find my all-time favourite movie on TV last night. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is, in my opinion, the finest moment in cinematic history. Everything about it is pitch-perfect, and whoever cast Sean Connery as Harrison Ford's father deserves Oscars, Knighthoods, and at least one Nobel Prize. I fell asleep before the end, but it hardly matters with films you've seen a million times before, right? And at least I got to see my favourite part - "Our situation has not improved".

And the new one comes out today! I rarely go to the cinema, but I'll make an exception for this one. In fact I think I'll be going a lot this year:

• Indy IV
• X Files II
• Narnia II
• Sex and the City (don't laugh)
• Harry Potter VI (my favourite of the books)

I'll have to email all the girls I know and see who's interested in which movies. None of the guys I know seem very enthusiastic at all. I wonder why?

Things I've learned since my last post

- Inhaling helium from balloons at a party is still funny when you're in your thirties.

- It is unfair for the karaoke to end just as you realise this.

- Steak is still tasty when served on a stick.

- The quality of a movie can not be predicted by its opening shot.

(No Country for Old Men and Alien vs. Predator 2 both begin with a shot of a hunter looking at a deer through a rifle sight. One of these two films goes on to be good good movie; the other turns into a bad bad movie*. Guess which is which).

- People will laugh at you when you try to tell them that using wooden pencils is more environmentally friendly than using plastic pens.

(C'mon! Renewable resource, biodegradable / compostable shavings, no toxic ink, minimal end-of-life garbage consisting only of wood, rubber and metal... and yet they still laugh. Maybe it's because I always carry 3 pencils with me in order to avoid sharpening them mid-meeting).

*Movie classifications, adapted from something I read somewhere a long time ago:

1) Good good movie: something that's worthy, hyped up, wins or is nominated for lots of awards, and is actually good, e.g. Last King of Scotland, Sideways.
2) Bad good movie: something that's worthy, hyped up, wins or is nominated for lots of awards, but is actually a bunch of pretentious tosh, e.g. The Piano.
3) Good bad movie: terrible movie with ridiculous story and 2-dimensional characters that's still immensely enjoyable, e.g. Jurassic Park, Evolution (extra bonus point for containing the often-underrated comic talents of David Duchovny).
4) Bad bad movie: terrible movie with ridiculous story and 2-dimensional characters that's just awful, e.g. Star Wars episodes 1 and 2. (The other 4 are good bad movies).

Many arguments occur over whether a given "good" movie should be in category 1 or 2. See The English Patient episode of Seinfeld for illustration.