Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Rib tickler

I like food.

And drinks.

I like to try lots of different stuff. I'm reasonably adventurous. But I also like to make sure that when I order a meal in a restaurant, I'm going to enjoy it*.

The obvious solution is to order something "safe", but also try a little taste of whatever Mr E Man orders. Just a leeettle sip of his drink; just a leeettle bite of his food.

He calls this "tithing", or more accurately "fucking tithing" (even though I take much less than 10%), and complains good naturedly every time I do it (even though I always give him a taste of my food and drink in return).

We had a very rare week-night dinner out last night, at a new place near our house. Mr E Man is on a mission to find the best ribs in Vancouver**, so when he heard that they had a rack of baby back ribs on special, that's what he chose. I opted for the halibut, and switched my beer order from the lager to the IPA after tasting a leettle bit of Mr E Man's pint (thereby proving the usefulness of tithing).

My fish was pretty good, so I cut off a chunk and transferred it to Mr E Man's plate. He ate it, but didn't reciprocate the gift until I reminded him about tithing.

Mr E Man: [dirty look]

Me: "Oh come on, I just want that little one from the end"

Mr E Man: "Every time!"

Me: "It's tradition. Women have been stealing men's ribs ever since the Garden of Eden"

Mr E Man: "But you don't even believe that, even though it's totally true and you can't prove any different!"

Me: "Yes I can! If women were made from a man's rib, they'd have Y chromosomes!"

Mr E Man, eating a rib: "Mmmmmmmm, tasty chromosomes. You can't have any"

I got my way in the end, of course. I thought the ribs were pretty tasty, but Mr E Man was disappointed. He says he's going to stop ordering ribs in new places, because his standards are too high and burgers are a better way to judge the overall quality of the restaurant. In future, he will only move on to try the ribs in places that pass the burger test.

We all have our little foibles; tithing (and scientific pedantry in the face of inaccurate religious mythology) isn't too much for him to live with, right, guys?

Right?

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*I'm actually really, really good at this. My Dad isn't; he'll order the most exotic sounding thing on any given menu, then complain when he doesn't like it. But with the exception of times when the general quality of the restaurant's food just isn't up to scratch, I very rarely end up with something I don't like.

**Current leader: Mr E Man's BFF. Current leading restaurant: Ouisi's.

13 comments:

  1. I seriously hate sharing food - DH always "jokes" that I will stab him with a fork before letting him eat off my plate.

    It's true.

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  2. We had The Best ribs ever at a place called "Rib City" Their rule was that if you needed a knife to cut the ribs they'd be for free. Sadly, I always had to pay for my ribs. The franchise in my town closed down. Once we were in a town and saw the sign for "Rib City". We ate more ribs that one could imagine.

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  3. I also hate sharing food, but he grew up in a large family and thinks forking across the table is totally normal. I like being asked first, oh well! :)

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  4. lets just say people hide their food from me now....

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  5. Grrl and I have breakfast in a really good local cafe every Saturday. I'venow reached the stage where I order a really big breakfast so that I can happily let Grrl nick 30% of it.

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  6. I thought "women have been stealing men's ribs ever since the Garden of Eden," in the context you were using it, was the funniest thing I've read today, until I read, "Mmmmmmmm, tasty chromosomes." lol!

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  7. oh, I'm happy to sort of share (tasting part is a big thing in my family) but ask ask ask before... not just stick a fork in my food and grab the best part without warning ;)

    Oh, and this does not go with taking chips/popcorn from my bowl that are mine. you grab your own bowl thank you!

    Clearly an important dicussion to have before you decide to date :)

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  8. Alyssa, I guess I have my moments! After a long training ride a few weeks ago, I came home absolutely starving and heated up some leftover Szechuan takeaway for a between meals "snack". When Mr E Man tried to grab a forkful, I yelled "THAT'S MINE!!!!!!!", making him jump backwards looking rather scared. But that's the exception, not the rule :)

    Makita, I'll keep an eye out for them next time I'm in the States!

    Silver Fox, Mr E Man has a much bigger family than I do (4 siblings rather than 1). When I first met him he ate really, really quickly, and said it was because of being the youngest; if he didn't eat quickly enough to finish before his siblings, he wouldn't ever be allowed to finish his own dinner! He's slowed down now that he realises I'm only going to take a wee bite, not the whole thing!

    ScientistMother, hiding food is no fair!

    Bob, Mr E Man does that with desserts now.

    Beth, Mr E Man and I amuse each other! I'm glad we amuse other people too!

    Chall, yeah, my family is all about the tasting each other's dinners! I do ask though (with food, anyway, but not with Mr E Man's drinks), or at least voluntarily hand over a taste of my dinner before I steal a taste of someone else's!

    Yes, this should be up there with religion, politics, children, and sports teams when deciding who to date!

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  9. I tithe. Or rather, I have gently encouraged Husband to tithe, to the point where he will now offer. I do reciprocate and now we often even plan to order things we both want and share.

    It took time, though. Now Husband often jokes that 'sharing' should have been in our wedding vows.

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  10. Mermaid, we sometimes coordinate our orders when we're both torn between some of the same choices. But Mr E Man seems to put those occasions into a different category than my usual tithing!

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  11. "women have been stealing men's ribs ever since the Garden of Eden," I LOVE this line!

    I'm with Alyssa, I'm not much of a food sharer at all. As a kid, I don't remember anyone in my family sharing food when we went out to eat. My boyfriend (and his whole family) are huge food sharers. It drove me nuts at first, but I'm starting to come around to it.

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  12. Calling all Men: tithing is OK if you go on to have children, because then it'll be payback time. I am convinced that a major function of fathers is to consume their kids' leftovers. Those that don't go to the chickens. Or the dog.

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  13. Liz, I guess it's hard to break that childhood conditioning!

    And, thanks!

    Cromercrox, I think you might be right there!

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