RBO Cycling

• I've commuted by bicycle almost every day since I started my PhD in 1998. That's a lot of kilometres, a lot of near accidents, a lot of hills, and a LOT of rain (we're talking Glasgow and Vancouver here, two cities notorious for their wet weather). And yes, I've always ridden year-round, rain or shine, although I do take the bus on icy or snowy days. Really, if you have the right gear and your journey takes less than half an hour or so, how wet are you gonna get?! Plus it's still cheaper, faster, cleaner, and more fun to ride in the rain than to take a steamed-up bus full of wet people. With a hot shower available at both ends of the trip, the worst thing about wet weather riding is the ickiness of putting still-damp leggings and shoes back on at the end of the day before the ride home, but that's just a fleeting sensation. I've done this for so long now that it's part of my identity, and if I'm 100% honest I do feel a certain sense of superiority over fair-weather cyclists, enabled by friends and colleagues who say things like "you rode today?! Wow, you're so dedicated! I'd never ride in weather like this!"
  
  This autumn, though, feels different. I sense a growing reluctance to ride in the rain, characterised by a bad case of the DON'T WANNA!s when I look out of the window on wet mornings. I blame the Vancouver-Seattle ride I did in June: I got thoroughly drenched on one of my long training rides, damp on a couple of others, and soaked to the skin to the point of what a nurse colleague tells me was almost certainly early-stage hypothermia on the ride itself*.
  
  Now, if you'd asked me back in hot and sunny August what effect those experiences might have on my commuting habits in the future, I'd probably have said "none" - surely after all that misery, I'd power through my wet 20 minute commutes thinking "this is NOTHING!", right?
  
  Wrong.
  
  I think that second day of the ride just plain ol' exceeded my tolerance limits for rain for the year, if not longer. Rainy rides now just take me back to the misery of that second day, when the rain and the hills just. Would. Not. Stop., and I got so cold I started making near-fatal bad decisions. I just DON'T WANNA! any more.
  
  I'm going to try to push through this. I don't want to be a fair-weather cyclist, I don't want to take steamed-up buses full of wet (and germy) people, and more importantly I feel the need to get out there and make all the naysayers realise that yes, there IS a point to building new cycling infrastructure in a rainy city, because people WILL use it year-round (a major point of contention in Vancouver right now as our awesome mayor and council commit to building more and more separated bike lanes downtown and elsewhere).
  
  I'll let you know how it goes...

(don't worry, the remaining bullets are much shorter)

• As a caveat to the above: I no longer ride on (most) Fridays. I started this habit during my training, as I did two long rides most weekends, and Friday seemed like a good choice of rest day. But I quickly realised that there are other benefits, such as not having to choose between the "leave bike at work and then not have it over the weekend" and the "ride bike to pub/friend's house and then either ride home after drinking or leave it at friend's house" options when a friend texts at 3pm on a Friday to suggest a spontaneous get-together.

• When I first learned to ride a bike, I started on a two-wheeler with removable stabilisers (training wheels, if you're from North America). So did all the other kids in my town. But all the kids I see around here who are just learning to cycle have two-wheelers, no stabilisers, and no pedals - they push themselves along with their feet. I guess that sometime in the last 30 years or so, someone decided that it's better for kids to learn balance first, rather than mastering pedalling/steering first, as I did. It makes sense, actually, and I wonder how many bruises and scraped knees I might have been spared if I'd learned this way!

• Once the local kids graduate to pedalling normal bikes, many of them start to accompany their parents on rides on the city's designated bike routes (side streets with some traffic-calming measures in place, but which are unfortunately still very popular with drivers because you get favourable stop signs, plus lights to cross all the major cross-streets). This is great - with the right parents! Some let their kid(s) ride behind them or on their left, where they're prone to wander all over the road or make sudden changes in speed and/or direction, which is very dangerous when faster riders and cars are trying to pass. And of course you can't say anything to these parents without getting yelled at (I've tried).
  
  So it was such a joy to see two counter-examples in the last couple of weeks. In the first case, a father was riding behind his son, keeping up a constant commentary along the lines of "go wide! That driver's stopped in front of a parking space, so she might start backing up and swinging out!", "I don't think that driver's seen us, so let's slow right down even though he has a stop sign and we don't", "wave and nod to say thank you!", "remember to keep in a straight line", "look behind you if you want to slow down", etc. It was awesome, and I told him so ("great job on the training!") as I passed. The other case, on a different route and a different day, involved a mother riding behind her daughter, giving similar advice and reminding her to always try and figure out where other road users want to go and what they might do next.
  
  Awesome job, guys! I salute you, and I wish there were more out there like you!

• That is all. Sorry this got so long. Bullets FAIL.

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*apparently my self-treatment prescription of hot-tub, beer, and spicy Thai food was "kinda dumb", but hey, what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger, right? :)

Environmentalist loonies

I recently came across an environmental campaign that is so unique, so creative, and so effective, that it blew me away.

This is a Canadian one dollar coin, aka loonie*, featuring an image of a common loon, and also Gavia immer on the other side (sorry, Your Majesty! Couldn't resist that one).

(image source)

This is the loonie I got in my change last week:

(it's a sticker, in case that's not obvious from the photo!)

WOW. Seriously nice work - what a striking, unambiguous combination of image and URL.

Of course I went straight to their website, where I signed the petition - Enbridge Inc wants to bring the first ever crude oil supertankers to Canada's Pacific north coast, and this group is asking Parliament to legislate a permanent ban on oil tankers in these waters.

I also found a solution to my dilemma. See, I love my modified loonie so much that I want to keep it, but I also understand that the whole point is to keep it circulating so others can see it and be inspired to sign the petition. So I've donated $10 in exchange for 42 decals that I can attach to other loonies and send out into the wild.


Seriously, the people behind this campaign are geniuses.

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*two dollar coins are, of course, called toonies. When Mad Hatter visited last year she needed change for a $10 bill for her bus fare, and the waitress she asked replied "sure, are loonies and toonies OK?" Mad Hatter turned to me with a look of sheer uncomprehending panic that was absolutely hilarious!

FEAR ME

FOR I AM ALL-POWERFUL

Until this week, I would have said that my super-powers are limited to the following:

• Locating any spider's web within a 5 metre radius, using only my face
• Locating submerged rocks in the ocean, using only my bare feet
• Turning wine into water

However, over the last few days I have not only caused a peer-reviewed paper to be retracted, but also influenced the outcome of the upcoming US House of Representatives elections.

Inadvertent, but still impressive.

The paper retraction came about as a result of a tweet I posted after spotting something unusual in my journal table of contents RSS feeds:

The tweet inspired Bob O'Hara to write a post about the paper, and the story then got picked up by Tara C. Smith (as a direct result of Bob's post) and PZ Myers (I'm not sure where he first heard about the paper, but he linked to Tara's post).

The editor of the journal left comments on all the posts the next day, saying that the paper was being retracted, and apologising for the mistake! See Bob's comment thread for one example.

Blimey, I wasn't expecting THAT when I rattled off that quick tweet! I almost feel guilty*, except that the paper really was very bizarre and unscientific. I'm all in favour of the occasional silly entry in the peer reviewed literature (e.g. here), but feel that it should be marked as such, or made obvious by the date of publication. April 1st springs to mind... Also, it appears that at least one of the authors had intended the paper as a serious attempt at thought provocation.

I think the comments around the internet about "humourless atheists" are off-base, though - most of the comments I've read are full of humourous piss-taking!

My influence over the US elections came about as a result of this book review. Apparently the author is currently running for office as a US Representative, and someone who lives in that district found my book review when Googling all the candidates. This voter then emailed me yesterday, to thank me - he explained that he has a rule against voting for creationists, and based on my review he's decided not to vote for the book's author!

(For the record, I'm not sure that the author's an out-and-out old-skool religious creationist. From what I've read in the book and then in his comments on my review post, I'd classify him more as a proponent of some weird modified form of intelligent design).

I'm thinking that this might be a good week to buy a lottery ticket.

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*I'd like to direct your attention to this egregious little bit of buck-passing:

Is it any wonder I'm addicted to Facebook?

My friends crack me up.

(Each person has their own colour).

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B: (background: these are comments on my status update about not being able to get my hands on an iPhone 4 yet. Between my original update and these comments, I'd posted a second update about how I was at the dentist watching the news on the ceiling TV and my dentist suddenly stopped to ask if I was OK because I'd involuntarily winced - as if in pain - when Stephen Harper appeared on the screen).

It's almost as much fun as blogging about dental floss!

Happy Canada Day!

(It's actually tomorrow, but I'm posting now because I'm declaring a blog-free day tomorrow. I want to catch up with some of the real-life friends I neglected throughout the Ride training etc!).

The True North Strong and "CHARGE!!!!!!!"

So, apparently Harper thought that it would be a good idea to hold the G20 meeting in the middle of downtown Toronto.

The inevitable happened.

Now, let's get one thing clear. I do not condone violence - in fact, I hate it. I don't see how smashing things advances any cause, and in fact it detracts attention from the peaceful protesters who have valid points about wealthy nations' treatment of people and the environment. I was angry - livid - at the Black Bloc people who smashed windows in downtown Vancouver and intimidated people during the Olympics, and local activists who've worked for years to improve life in the Downtown Eastside seemed to feel the same way.

But the video below (and others like it all over the news yesterday) destroyed almost all the sympathy I had for the police. They let people torch police cars and smash windows on Saturday, and then on Sunday, this happened:


Peaceful G20 protest at Queen & Spadina from Meghann Millard on Vimeo.

Stephen Harper once said "You won't recognize Canada when I get through with it".

Hey, Stephen? I think I liked it better before.

(And maybe next time, hold the meeting in Nunavut.

In winter.

Either that or hold a teleconference).

Captions Please...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: Our Glorious Leader On The World Stage.

AKA LOLHarper.

In order of increasing LOLs:


see more Political Pictures

 (Source, and why it's funny, in case you're not familiar with the British meanings of certain gestures)

I love this one. I may never get tired of laughing at it.

Democracy in the UK

Me: "So what are you going to do today?"

Dad: "Stay here and watch the election coverage on the internet"

Yup, it's election time in the UK!

I'm not voting, because I don't think it's fair for people to influence the results if they don't have to live with the consequences¹. For the record, if I had decided to vote, I would have picked the Liberal Democrats - their coalition with Labour did some good things in the Scottish parliament, and I think that would be my favoured outcome for this election. Although if there's a hung parliament and Labour end up in third place, as is being predicted, a Lib Dem - Conservative coalition might better reflect the way the country voted and therefore be a fairer outcome, if a less natural relationship.

Speaking of which, the chance that the Lib Dems might manage to push through some kind of electoral reform is one of my reasons for hoping they form part of the next government. The current first-past-the-post system is blatantly unfair; the Lib Dems in the UK (and the NDP in Canada) get far fewer seats than they should, given the share of the popular vote they attract. Given that the UK and Canadian systems are essentially identical, my wish is the same for both systems: a mixed constituency MP / proportional representation system like the Scottish one. In Scotland, everyone gets two votes - the first for a candidate in your constituency, and the second for a political party. A certain percentage of seats in the house are given to the candidates who win in each constituency with the first vote, and the rest are divided up among the parties according to what percentage of the second vote they won. This system let me vote for Donald Dewar, the Labour candidate in my constituency, who was a bloody good bloke and also guaranteed to win regardless of how I voted, but also for the Lib Dems, who, as I mentioned, used their PR share of the seats to form a governing coalition with Labour and get some of their pet issues (abolition of university tuition fees, universal free care for the elderly) into the books.

Anyway, I seem to have got sidetracked from the original purpose of this post, which was to lament that I miss the British election fever. It's just not the same in Canada; people don't talk about politics as much, and we're missing a certain British sense of silliness and fun. Every Brit I know in real life and on the internet is positively obsessed with this election, and I've had a fantastic time reading their posts, debating with them,and listening to the hilarious Vote Now Show podcasts from the BBC². The last Canadian election campaign was deathly dull in comparison. My friends did talk about it, but not with the passion and obsession that you see in the UK. I think we actually discussed the US election more than the Canadian one. There were no election night parties with drinking games (featuring red, blue, and yellow drinks, obviously) based on the number of seats each party wins, and no-one stayed up all night to watch the results come in like everyone I know always does in the UK.

Part of the reason is that I'm in the West of Canada, where we're under-represented in parliament and where people are still voting when the results in the East are already known. Yeah, there's a complete ban on reporting those results until the Western polls close, but it doesn't exactly help to ease the existing sense that our voices don't matter and that people in other provinces have already chosen the government before we've even voted. I've watched election night CBC news shows where the outcome was announced within ten minutes of our polls closing, before a single BC vote had even been counted.

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From Wikipedia:
 
Electoral Quotient (Average population per MP):

Prince Edward Island: 33,824
Saskatchewan: 69,924
New Brunswick: 72,950
Newfoundland and Labrador: 73,276
Manitoba: 79,970
Nova Scotia: 82,546
Quebec: 96,500
Alberta: 106,243
Ontario: 107,642

British Columbia: 108,548

-------------------- 

Combining this situation with a first-past-the-post system is a recipe for voter disengagement and dangerously low turnouts, especially in the West³. We should have a mixed constituency MP / proportional representation system. You know, like the Scottish one (see how I managed to link what I originally planned to write about back into what I waffled on about at the beginning? Blogging WIN!)

Can any of my Canadian readers from over-represented and/or Eastern time zone provinces please let me know if there's any more election fever there than there is in BC? I might have to come for a visit during the next election campaign...

Anyway, if you're in the UK, enjoy all the swingometer action tonight! Have some red, blue, and/or yellow drinks for me.

And, if you haven't voted yet, GET OUT AND VOTE! You have a right that's been given to only a tiny minority of the people who have ever lived, and which is still denied to far too many: please don't take it for granted.

--------------------------

1) Although I might vote next time just to make sure that I keep my rights in case I want to use them in the future - see Tideliar's recent post about trying to register as an overseas voter. I'd probably vote for the Green party though, or someone else who hasn't got a chance of winning.


2) I taught my parents how to play these podcasts from iTunes before I left this morning. They're both feeling homesick today. 

3) Oh well, at least we've got the oil sands Rocky Mountains and all the best ski resorts.

Scottish tree hybridisers

My parents are here!

They arrived on Saturday, on the same flight as my boss's inlaws¹ and the woman who Gordon Brown called a bigot². And now I have five weeks of chatting to my Dad about football  before work! Oh, and endless comments of the "do you always have that kind of thing for breakfast?" variety. At least my Mum has finally given up trying to stop me (and my sister, when they visit her) from leaving the house with wet hair.

Yesterday morning was spent in the VanDusen Botanical Garden, which is in full and splendid bloom at the moment.

A non-blooming part of the garden. Oops!

My Dad's sense of humour has been documented here previously, but one thing I didn't mention was that every trip has to have a theme. He'll find something that amuses him, then create a whole set of jokes, stories, and banter around it. For example, after meeting someone on his flight once who had an annoying voice and rather unusual opinions on several issues, everything that happened on that trip had to be commented on and re-told as if by that person. It's always very funny for the first week, less so the second, and gets gradually more annoying through constant repetition. By the end of five weeks we'll be begging him to stop, but my poor Mum will have to live with it for at least another month after they get home.

Mr E Man's Scottish heritage is a recurring theme of my Dad's banter, and he happened to be wearing his Scotland rugby shirt yesterday. So when my Dad spotted a mention of a "famous Scottish tree hybridiser" on one of the Garden's plaques, it quickly became apparent that the theme for this trip was set.

"You Scotsmen will shag anything!" was the opening salvo. (Mr E Man did point out that this is not a very nice thing to say to the man who married your daughter).

There was much more banter along these lines as we made our way around the garden, and the puns and jokes continued over lunch. I know I shouldn't encourage my Dad in his efforts, but "Robert the Spruce" popped into my head and was too good not to share. My Dad then inquired whether Mr E Man's ancestors came from the Outer or Inner Hybridise³, and it's all been downhill since then.

Sigh.

Ah well, it's lovely to see them, and we have lots planned for the next few weeks. Luckily, both my parents seem happy to watch lots of hockey (Go Canucks Go! WOOOOOOO!). We're also taking them to see Delhi 2 Dublin (we've told my Dad that the venue will be serving curried Guiness), and to visit Mr E Man's mum and then one of his sisters. Oh, and we're going to Whistler so the boys can play golf and the girls can go to the spa. So if you don't see me round the blogosphere as much as usual, this is why... so much to do! Although we will have a temporary return to normality next week when my parents leave for their week-long Alaskan cruise, and they might also go down to Seattle for a couple of days at some point.

Oh, and the cats are being excellent ambassadors for their species; if this continues, my Mum should be able to persuade my Dad to get another cat (the last one died seven years ago), if/when she decides that she would like one. She's always been a pet person, but my Dad most definitely isn't, and he agreed to get the last cat only after much begging and crying by my sister and me. The cat turned out to be a vicious little bugger who'd rather scratch you than snuggle with you; Google and Saba are the opposite, and have already slept on his lap several times. Nice work, kitties!

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1) I ran into him and his family in the arrivals area. We had a long wait as there was a problem with the baggage carousel; my parents got one suitcase immediately, but had to wait an hour before the second one showed up.


2) Apparently she was very embarrassed to be recognised! I wonder if it was a pre-planned trip or if she suddenly felt the need to flee the country...


3) Link for those of you not au fait with Scottish geography

Perogies good, proroguing bad

Well, we couldn't have picked a nicer day for my first protest rally!

Looking all patriotic at the Olympic countdown clock (hockey is too patriotism)

It all started off a bit chaotic; lots of signs, a carnival band, an underpowered PR system, and no visible organisation.

I did spot my MP, Don Davies, and I was just about to go over and introduce myself when we started our march to Victory Square.

Here's one of my first ever videos... I'm still getting to grips with the camera (a Christmas present from my sister) and with iMovie, so please bear with me! (And can I just say once again that Macs and iLife RULE??!! Adding the music* at the end was super easy. I am very impressed so far)

The march was really good fun (and I was ridiculously proud of my "more cowbell!" moment). The first few speeches at Victory Square were good, too, and we enjoyed some more creative signs.

The MC was fantastic. Best moment:

MC: "And we have some elected representatives with us on stage today,"

Heckler: "Booooooooooooooooooo!"

MC: "Are you protesting the concept of elected representatives? Because I think you might be at the wrong rally"

Heckler: "Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

MC: "Elected representatives are kinda the whole point"

Heckler: "(Something) Harper (Something Something Mumble) power!"

MC: "Oh, Dad. I asked you not to come".

But to be honest, an hour of speeches was enough and we took an increasingly cold and disgruntled Morgan to warm up in a pub.

Overall, it was a very positive experience. I do have to say, though, that the crowd was smaller than I'd been hoping. Enough to stop traffic, enough to make a point, but nowhere near the crowds they attracted in Toronto and Ottawa. In part this is because of the skewing of parliamentary representation towards the East - a mixture of not keeping up with greater population density in the West, appeasing Quebec, and the effects of the time zones means that elections are pretty much already decided before the polls in BC and Alberta have even closed. Hence greater voter apathy in the West - and we all know that voter apathy is the true enemy, especially when skillfully manipulated by people like Harper**.

So it was interesting that among all the usual special interest groups that piggy-backed on this protest***, the electoral reform people were the most prominent, handling out lots of literature and having a speaker on the programme. We've discussed this before on here, and I still maintain that a mixed system like the Scottish one would be better than the pure PR system that others favour. But the current situation is clearly not tenable. The rally's organisers stressed that Saturday should represent just a beginning, and I have to agree. Harper won't care how many people came out to protest against his shenanigans unless he takes a much bigger hit in the polls, so while I'm not going to give up protesting prorogation, I am also going to look into what I can do to help the electoral reform movement. It's obviously not in the interests of the ruling party (or the Liberals, as official opposition) to change the status quo, but it does feel like momentum is building (in Ontario if not in BC), and people are in this for the long haul.

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*K'naan. He (and this song in particular) are gonna be HUGE when the World Cup starts this summer, and I get to say "I saw him when... :)

**You might be able to overhear in the video part of a phone conversation with a friend we thought would have wanted to attend the rally. This person is very politically aware and has been to other protests in the past, but didn't think this rally was for them. But really, what's the point of protesting environmental or foreign policy decisions when there's no parliament in session to do anything about it?

***I got a flyer from the Marxist-Leninist party of Canada (good luck with that, guys), and Mr E Man and I were both approached by a rabidly anti-Olympics protester. 


Protester: "Do you want some information about how to protest the Olympics?"


Mr E Man: "No thanks. The Olympics are paying my bills right now."


Friend: "Don't tell him that!!!"


Protester: "Yeah, I wouldn't admit to that in public. Not around here anyway"

Mr E Man: "Would you rather I was collecting EI?"



Then:


Protester: "Do you want some information about how to protest the Olympics?"

Me: "Hell no! I've got hockey tickets!"


At that point, he gave up and went to bother some other people.

Well, this is a good sign...

From my stats page:

Canadian flag? Check!

Team Canada hockey jersey? Check!

Stills camera? Check!

Video camera? Check!

iPhone (back-up camera and for organisation/meet-up purposes)? Check!

Angry mob? Check!

Wish us luck!

Anti-prorogue rally: Vancouver details

Just a quick note for local readers about tomorrow's anti-prorogue rally. The rally starts at 1pm at the Vancouver Art Gallery, and I'm going to be meeting Kyrsten and other friends at 12.50pm outside Future Shop (the entrance on Robson, next to the Ecco Store) before walking down. Feel free to join us!


The organisers would like everyone to wear red and white and carry Canadian flags. I have one from my citizenship celebrations, and I'll be wearing my Team Canada hockey jersey. It'll be too cold to show off my tattoo, though...

Response from Don Davies

(Original email here)

Dear Cath,

Thank you for taking the time to write me regarding the prorogation of Parliament by the Conservative government. I share your outrage at what is essentially a suspension of Canadian democracy for two months: the people's elected representatives have been barred from meeting and holding the government to account. I, too, intend to attend the rally in Vancouver on the January 23rd, and I appreciate your action and participation.

This episode is the latest display by this prime minister and government of utter disrespect for the democratic system. Over the past four years I have watched the Conservatives disregard majority votes in the House of Commons, ignore legislation (including their own law on election dates), and forcibly shut down committees and the whole of Parliament to avoid defeat or embarrassment.  This is their second prorogation in a year, and combined with their dissolution in September, 2008 to hold an election, the third time they have intentionally dissolved Parliament's legislative agenda.

They are betting that Canadians don't notice or care, and they win when Canadians become cynical and disengage from the political process.

Many Canadians have been calling for the parliamentarians to return on January 25th in defiance of Harper's prorogation, citing England's 1640 Long Parliament as precedent.  I have also heard from constituents who propose passing legislation that would limit a prime minister to one prorogation per Parliament.  I appreciate these creative suggestions. I will be consulting with my caucus colleagues and other MPs to find a solution that is appropriate to the Canadian context in the 21st century. Rest assured, I will be joining my New Democrat colleagues in working hard to speak for my constituents and all Canadians whether in Parliament or elsewhere.

The government's rationale for prorogation is insulting: if they want to "consult Canadians" about the next phase of their economic action plan, they should consider consulting the MPs who are elected and paid to represent Canadians to the government. Regardless, Parliament was already on a six week break (Dec. 11-Jan. 25). Were they not already in their in their ridings, talking to their constituents? I was.

Meanwhile, their true motivations are clear: avoid accountability over the Afghan detainee issue, stack the undemocratic Senate in their favour, and try to convince Canadians that Parliament is unworkable and irrelevant. They argue that only 22 sitting days are lost; however, much work can be done in 22 days in the House of Commons if the government were to take a cooperative approach. Committees that could have met outside official sitting days have been dissolved, preventing all oversight of the government's work over the next two months. This underhanded tactic begs the questions: What is the prime minister afraid of? What is he hiding on the issue of Afghan detainees? What does he know that he doesn't want the world to know before the Olympics?

In addition, prorogation eliminates all government legislation and committee work from the Order Paper.  This means that all government legislation, studies and work must be completely re-introduced  -  and months of parliamentary work have been rendered meaningless.

This prorogation may be technically legal under our system, but it is morally an affront to our democracy and unacceptable, I believe, to most Canadians.

Thank you for showing Stephen Harper that Canadians do care about their democracy.  I will make sure your views are expressed clearly and forcefully.

Sincerely,

Don

Don Davies, M.P.
Vancouver Kingsway
New Democrat critic for Public Safety
ph: (613) 943-0267
fax: (613) 943-0219

 Excellent answer! I think I'll be voting for this guy if he stands again! (yeah, Massimo, I know, tactical voting. But this is a pretty safe NDP seat. ABC!). I didn't expect to be given more reasons to be angry...

No, nay, never, no more

No responses to my letters yet, but my MP, Don Davies, did have an article criticising prorogation in the Georgia Straight (our weekly free paper), and I gather from Facebook that he'll be attending the rally (now set for 1pm on Saturday January 23rd at the Vancouver art gallery).

Hockey pool, week 15

Look, Mr. Harper! I'm being a good Canadian and am using hockey to distract myself and others from the suspension of our democracy!

I can not believe I dropped the lovely Alex Burrows from my team for the first time this season, only to see him score seven points this week, including back-to-back hat-tricks. (One of my other consistently performing stars, Patrice Bergeron, injured himself about eight minutes into the week).

Alex, you rule, and I will never, ever doubt you again. You're back in my team, as is Luongo. Nabokov did well for me for a few weeks, but with only one win to his name this week, it's back to Bobby Lu.

The hottest Canuck, in both senses of the word

Right, now where was I? Oh, right, PRO-DEMOCRACY, NOT PROROGUE! HARPER OUT!

Pro-democracy, anti-rogue.

Imagine a leader with George W Bush's politics, and Tony Blair's tactical brain.

Scary, right?

Meet Stephen Harper.

Quite possibly the most right-wing Western leader still standing, after the US and Australia saw sense

Responsible for Canada being awarded several Fossil of the Day awards at the Copenhagen talks, and walking away with the Colossal Fossil grand prize.

You may remember that I wrote about Harper's anti-democratic tendencies back in December 2008. Facing almost certain defeat in a no-confidence vote tabled by a (sadly short-lived) coalition of opposition parties, he asked the Governor General to suspend ("prorogue") parliament. He gambled on the self-interest of the individual party leaders overriding their enthusiasm for the coalition - and he won.

And now, he's done it again.

"We're in ur parliament, suspending ur democracy"

This article in The Economist provides a nice summary, especially for non-Canadians. Briefly, facing very difficult questions about the government's knowledge of the abuse of Afghan detainees captured by Canadian troops, our esteemed Prime Minister has used the Olympics (~4,600km from Ottawa) as an excuse to prorogue parliament until March. Every bill before parliament, no matter what stage it had reached, now goes back to square one, and oh look, Harper gets to appoint senators to the upper house without going through the usual vetting processes.

He's gambling again.

He's gambling that the shamefully low voter turnout in the last couple of elections means that Canadians can be distracted from the suspension of their democracy by Olympic hockey.

This time, though, there's a backlash.

I am angry. Seriously pissed off. So is Mr E Man, and so are many of our friends, who between us vote NDP, Liberal, Green, and the Work Less Party. (I've read online that even some Conservative Party supporters are angry and joining the protests; this is bigger than party politics). We've been talking about it a lot (yes, in between hockey talk), and it looks like we'll be taking a decent sized group of people to the rally planned for January 23rd. This will be the first political rally that most us has ever attended. I've also signed a petition, joined the Facebook group (>150,000 members and climbing), and (again for the first time in my life), written to my MP and the Governor General.

Astroturfers, this is what a real grassroots movement looks like!

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Letter to my MP

Don Davies is from the NDP, the third party, and therefore a) will most likely reply to say "I agree" and b) can't really do much about it. But if I can add my name to the list of "X people in my constituency have written to me", and perhaps even help persuade him to attend the rally, then hey, can't hurt.

Subject: prorogation of parliament


Dear Mr. Davies,

Like many Canadians, I am extremely upset and angry about the Prime Minister's decision to prorogue parliament for the second time in as many years. I am writing to you to ask that you ignore Stephen Harper's request to prorogue parliament, and join Liberal party MPs in attending anyway. I think that this would make a very powerful statement to Mr. Harper that the Canadian people and their elected representatives will not tolerate his attempts to derail democracy in our country.

My husband and I, and many of our friends, are planning to attend the anti-prorogue rally that is being planned for January 23rd. For many of us, this will be our first ever political rally - a measure of the strength of our feelings about this issue (this is also the first time I have ever been moved to write to my MP). Do you, and other local NDP MPs, plan to attend this event? Again, I think that your attendance would make a very strong statement to Mr. Harper. The details are still being arranged and will be posted at http://citizensfordemocracy.ca/rallies/.

I look forward to your reply

Sincerely,

Find your MP's contact info here.


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Letter to the Governor General


Michaëlle Jean is the current representative of the Queen, our nominal head of state. She seems like a very nice, thoughtful lady who took a largely ceremonial role that has not historically held any real power. However, by allowing Harper to prorogue parliament the first time, she set a very dangerous precedent. There's no doubt that he's put her in a very difficult position, but she has to take a large share of the blame for our current situation. Long-term, the biggest impact of Harper's decision may well be the end of the monarchy in Canada. As a Brit, I'm ambivalent to weakly pro-monarchy (for Britain). As a Canadian, I'm quite strongly anti-monarchy (for Canada). Let's have a Canadian head of state, eh? This is the 21st Century... (join us, Aussie and Kiwi brothers and sisters!)

Anyway, I digress. Here's what I wrote (following the guidelines of "styles of address for federal dignitaries", of course. This is a Canadian revolution, there's no need to be rude):

Excellency,

I am writing to you to express my disappointment and anger that you have agreed to the Prime Minister's request to prorogue parliament for the second time in as many years. Mr. Harper is placing party politics above his responsibility to democracy and to the people he is supposed to represent. As Governor General, I would wish for you to be a voice of the Canadian people and a defender of our constitution, not simply a stamp of approval on all of the Prime Minister's requests.

I understand that you did not take this decision without a great deal of thought, but I hope that the growing public reaction to this second prorogation has convinced you that you acted counter to the wishes of millions of Canadians. A lot of us are very upset and angry; this is the first time I have ever been moved to write to my MP, to you, and to attend a political rally. And I know that I am not alone.

As a proud dual citizen of Canada and the United Kingdom, I expect more from the representatives of my monarchy.

Yours truly,

I told her, eh? You can write to her yourself at info@gg.ca


I'll keep you posted with any replies, and with photos of the rally. 


Let's keep our land glorious and free!

LOLs from my father

My Dad's always a good source of entertainment, but he's really outdone himself this week. I don't know if it's the Christmas spirit or some other kind of spirit, but his emails and phone calls have been full of gems recently...

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"We went to [Mum's former school] Carol Service at the Minster last night. It was excellent:


Girl 1 (Narrator) - "And Mary was sorely troubled"
Girl 2 (Mary) - "I am sorely troubled"
Boy (Gabriel) - "Do not be troubled"

No-one else seemed to think it was a comedy"

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"Canadian politics has been very boring lately, you lot haven't had an election in months. What happened? Did you decide you like that bastard, what's his name, your useless prime minister, after all?"

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Dad: "Where's that bastard you live with? I have an ice hockey question for him"

Me: "Hang on, I'll get him"

Dad: "Hello, colonial bastard!"

Mr E Man: "Hello, imperialist bastard!"

Dad: "Right, so I saw five minutes of ice hockey highlights on the news yesterday and I have a question. What, exactly, is the strategic advantage of taking your gloves off and repeatedly punching the other team's player in the helmet?"

Mr E Man: "There's really no good explanation for that kind of behaviour"

Dad: "They had sticks, and there was some kind of black thing on the ice. I hear they use those things in between fights, is this true?"

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"It's our turn to run the pub quiz next month. Here's a question for you: which Championship team is top of the league despite being full of useless overpaid wankers? 

There'll be a bonus point if anyone can explain how this is happening. No-one will win the bonus point".

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"Stop playing the science card! It's not fair when you know things that we don't and use them to win arguments!"


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"Now, Catherine, tell the truth. Are you, or are you not, sleeping with Tiger Woods?"

"Marriage is gay"

Just a quickie: this week is going to be crazy busy with grant and progress report deadlines galore. But I just wanted to send a belated "Happy Thanksgiving!" to my Canadian readers!

We spent the long weekend at my mother-in-law's, which is always well worth the two ferry (i.e. four hour) wait on the way home. The turkey dinner was the best evah, and brother-in-law #1's Hilarious New Fiance silenced all the doubters with her whipped yam-ginger-orange juice concoction.

HNF and I also upheld our tradition of swapping new music and podcast tips. My iPhone is currently chockablock with Spanish lesson podcasts (we listen to them in the car - our vacation is less than four weeks away!), so I was reluctant to add any more casts to my list... but as usual, she had some awesome new ones that I couldn't resist subscribing to. Here's my favourite episode (so far) from my favourite new podcast, "That's Gay". Enjoy! I'll see you on the flipside...

Canadian Immigration: Part III

(This is a series of posts detailing my personal journey from work permit to Canadian citizenship. I've included as many details as I can remember. If you found this post using an internet search for Canadian immigration, or if you are a regular reader who is interested in moving to Canada, please bear in mind that things may have changed since I went through the system, and your situation may be completely different from my own. Please consult the Canadian government's website for more information.)

See also:
Part I: the wilderness work permit years
Part II: resident, permanently

Part III: Citizen Cath

Many of my family and friends were astonished to learn that marrying Mr E Man didn't get me automatic Canadian citizenship. In fact, as an existing permanent resident, obtaining a Canadian husband made absolutely no difference at all to my immigration status or timelines. As I mentioned in Part II, marriage (straight, gay, or common law) to a citizen does get non-permanent residents optional access to a faster and cheaper "sponsored" PR application process, but that's it; all PRs who wish to become a citizen apply through the same process, and are subject to the same rules.

As soon as I decided to stay in Canada permanently, I knew I wanted to eventually become a citizen. First and foremost because I love this country and want to be a fully contributing member of its society. That means that I want to vote out the right wing bastards who ru(i)n this country AND this province. People fought long and hard for my right to vote, a right which is sadly granted to so few of the people who live (and have ever lived) on this planet. Besides, if you don't vote, you don't (or at least shouldn't) get to complain about the government... I've voted in every British election for which I've been old enough and resident in the country* - general, local, Scottish, and European parliament elections - and have been incredibly frustrated at not having a say during my seven (and a half) years in Canada.

So that was my primary motivation, but there were others too. For example, I've always wanted a second passport; not only do I now get to avoid the old fingerprint/photograph/interrogation routine that I used to go through at the US border, it's also really fucking cool. A recent rule change was another factor; PR cards are now required in order to enter the country, and the card has to be renewed every five years**, via the same rather frustrating process by which I replaced my stolen card after my honeymoon. So you really may as well apply for citizenship, and just renew your passport instead.

I also get to legitimately support a second team during the Olympics and other sporting events (-> more medals! w00t!).

This is not a decision that everyone can make so easily; the Canadian government allows dual citizenship, but some countries do not. This means that some immigrants have to give up their original citizenship upon becoming Canadian. Luckily for me, the British government basically says "do what you want". If I'd had to choose, I probably wouldn't have given up my British nationality.

Enough of the rationale, what about the methods?

(Yes, it's grant time again).

Permanent residence is the hard part. Once that's in the bag, it's really quite easy to become a citizen. You have to be physically in Canada as a permanent resident for "at least three years (1,095 days) in the past four years before applying". Every day that you spend out of the country counts against you, and has to be accounted for (I used the stamps in my passport and emails I'd sent to my Mum*** to work this out - the single most important piece of advice I can give to an aspiring citizen is to keep excellent records of your travel during this period). You can count time spent in Canada as a non-permanent resident (i.e. on a work permit), but one day with this status only gets you half a day of residency credit, and you can only claim a maximum of one year.

I used the online calculator to pinpoint the exact day on which I would become eligible to apply for citizenship, and completed as much of the paperwork as I could ahead of time. Unlike the behemoth of the PR application package, which took several months to assemble, the citizenship application form is just five pages long. (It's also MUCH cheaper to apply for citizenship than for PR status). I also needed to send photos, and photocopies of my passport, PR documents, marriage certificate, and BC healthcare card. I completed the process, appropriately enough, on Canada Day 2008.

The next step in the process was, of course, the infamous citizenship test. In late 2008 I received the study guide and my test date (8:15am on the day after my birthday, boooooooo). I promptly launched into intensive study put the study guide on a shelf and forgot about it. Massimo and others who'd already taken the test had assured me that it was a piece of cake, no problem at all.

So, when I did crack open the study guide, a couple of weeks before my test, the level of detail took me by surprise. I read through the guide a few times, and then took an (unofficial) online practice test.****

And failed.

I just wasn't prepared for questions about the metals mined from the Canadian shield, or the major industries of Saskatchewan.

Luckily, an email (or two, or three) from Massimo helped to calm me down, as he assured me that the actual test questions would be much easier; more a test of language ability than of knowledge.

And so it proved to be! The test consists of 20 multiple choice questions. You have to get 12 right in total, and you also have to correctly answer two of the three most important questions (the ones about how to vote). There was only one question that I wouldn't have known the answer to without studying, and that one I could probably have guessed. I definitely don't want to put anyone off studying, because it's an interesting and worthwhile thing to do in its own right. And, of course, I benefited greatly from the extensive similarities between the British and Canadian political systems. But really, anyone who pays any attention at all to the news should do OK.

After the test, immigration officials checked the original copies of the documents we'd photocopied and sent in with our applications, and briefly chatted with each person to ensure that we all spoke sufficient English or French. Some people were handed special envelopes and walked out looking perturbed, but I wasn't one of those people, so I can't tell you what that was all about. A few of us speculated that some people were being referred for an additional language test, but I really don't know for sure.

About three months later, I got notification that I'd passed the test. Oh happy day! I was also given my ceremony date; as with the test itself, you're assigned a date and time, and have to apply for permission to change it. I think you can only miss one assigned test date before you get kicked out of the system and have to reapply; if you miss more than one assigned ceremony date, I think you have to appear in front of a citizenship judge in order to be granted citizenship. But luckily this wasn't an issue for me, as I was available on both dates.

You already know all about my ceremony, which was very pleasant and only slightly awkward (luckily no-one else sang the anthem in tune either). And that brings us to the end of my (mostly) smooth dealings with Citizenship and Immigration Canada!

So long, and thanks for all the fish memories!

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Wait, what's that?

You want examples of easy-peasy test questions?

*Sigh*. So demanding.

But, OK.

My favourite question was the first one (on my version - there were at least six different versions distributed around the room, probably to prevent copying). One of the immigration agents gave a short presentation at the beginning of the test, and started off by asking if anyone required the test booklet in French, or if English was OK. The slides he used were in English and French.

Question #1: "What are the two official languages of Canada?"

Apparently, another version asked for the name of the head of state... in a room with a portrait of the Queen proudly displayed on the wall.

Other answer options included "recycling newspapers" as the primary responsibility of Canadian citizens, and "call the police" as the appropriate response to not receiving your voter registration card within a week of an election.

But to see some other examples, you're just gonna have to take the test yourself!

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*I can still vote in the UK as an ex-pat, but I don't think that's right. Especially as I'm a lefty, and therefore likely to vote for tax increases that I wouldn't actually have to pay.

**PR status is still (as the name suggests) permanent, as it always was. But the new cards are not, so if you ever want to leave the country (and get back in), you really need to renew your card. This rule change has finally prompted my mother-in-law to apply for citizenship; I helped her with her application not long after I submitted mine, and discovered that she became a PR in 1960! As my Dad said to her, "well, you don't want to rush into anything". NB she doesn't have to take the test, as she's over the upper age limit, but this does delay her ceremony by a few months.

***She insists on knowing the dates, times, and flight numbers for all my trips, even if I'm not going to the UK. She's a very nervous flyer and has never quite got used to the fact that I fly a couple of times a year.

****There are a few of them out there, but I'm not going to link to them because the bastards freaked me out.

Tuesday pet peeve: militant NIMBYism

NIMBYism is rampant in Vancouver, and it drives me nuts.

Olympics? No, we don't want that, it'll be too chaotic. Rapid transit to the airport? Nope, we don't want the inconvenience of the construction. Better cycling infrastructure? No, it'll jam up the traffic.

But what really pisses me off is the kind of NIMBY who actually wants the above initiatives to fail, at great detriment to the city, just so they can prove that they were right. The kind of NIMBY who would cut off their nose to spite their face, rather than admit they were wrong.

Seriously, people are being interviewed on the TV news, and commenting on news websites, who seem genuinely disappointed that the recent bike lane trial on the Burrard Bridge hasn't brought downtown traffic to a complete standstill.

The most obvious example though is the continuing Olympic NIMBYism.

Now, there are valid arguments against hosting the Games. For example, once the global economy tanked and the city was left on the hook for the Olympic Village construction costs, those of us who started out strongly pro-Games had to admit that the naysayers might have had a point when they kept going on about generations of debt, and eternal doom and gloom in general.

But if you say that you hope the Games get cancelled because of a swine flu epidemic, or that no-one comes because they can't afford to travel and the whole thing is a disaster, YOU ARE AN IDIOT. Do you really want that to happen? So you can sit there smirking "told you so" for decades to come, as property taxes rise and the city's other infrastructure suffers?

Really????

Some people are even saying that they want to actively disrupt the Games!!!

The Olympics are coming, like it or not. You didn't vote for it, you didn't want it to happen, but it's gonna. So accept it, get over it, move on. Let's do whatever we can to make the Games a raging success!

You never know, you might even enjoy having a global party in your backyard, with some of the world's best athletes as your guests.

A plague of noisy hockey fans upon Vancouver's militant NIMBYs!