Thursday, July 22, 2010

That Round-Headed Kid-ding

The movie industry is a harsh mistress, all boom and bust. When a big production comes to town, there's plenty of work (and overtime) to go around - but the lean times can be very lean indeed for Mr E Man and his fellow spaceship builders, and there's always the fear that shiny new tax breaks in Toronto or Australia or elsewhere will lure the big money away.

This uncertain environment is a fertile breeding ground for speculation and rumours of The Next Big One. Mr E Man often reports back from the studio with tales of the film he might be working on next, some of the tales plausible, but others more on the "what on Earth will Hollywood think of next?! Who watches this shit?" spectrum.

So, yesterday, Mr E Man decided to start his own rumour. He made it as preposterous as he could, but apparently he has several people believing that after the current show, the whole crew will be moving on to a big budget, live-action remake of...

A Charlie Brown Christmas.

With George Clooney as Charlie Brown.

And Angelina Jolie as Lucy.


Image source. All the other Peanuts images were copyrighted.

Mr E Man has given me permission to blog this story, in the hopes that my readers can come up with even more preposterous rumours for him to spread once this one dies down.

9 comments:

  1. Comment from Antipodean, edited (edit is marked in italics) and reposted. Please don't type my surname in your comments - see text above comments box. Thanks! :)

    I can assure you that Australia has no movie industry outside of endless crime family sagas (the so-called stiiiick 'eeeeem up genre).

    New Zealand on the other hand will bend over backwards and forwards simultaneously to make anything as long as we get to play with computers. We only got these in the past ten years and boy are they shiny!

    The next big movie project in Vancouver will be Watership Down. Sir Ian McKellan is already signed on to be the voice of the rabbit grim reaper. Brad Pitt will voice Fiver and Ellen Page is the main protagonist, Hazel.
    Needless to say Sir Peter Jackson will direct and all the actual work will be done in New Zealand after they take a polaroid picture of a nice meadow with mountains in the background somewhere in British Columbia. Mr [redacted] will supervise the virtual building of the virtual spaceship for a nice fat management fee.

    -antipodean

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  2. Australia poached Wolverine from Vancouver, which was a shame because I'd like nothing better than to go to a wrap party with Hugh Jackman :(

    I'm not sure Watership Down requires a remake - the original was superb! Very scary stuff for a kid, with the Black Rabbit and the evil general rabbit and all that.

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  3. Just filling out your Peanuts cast.

    Demi Moore - Peppermint Patty

    Hilary Swank - Marcie

    Paul Bettany - Schroeder

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  4. HA! This is turning into a great movie. I, for one, would be happy to pay good money to see it.

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  5. Of course Snoopy and Woodstock will be pure CG.

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  6. Oh, bollocks.

    My sincerest apologies.

    -antipodean

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  7. MXX, Mr E Man has updated the rumour to include Snoop Dogg as the voice of the CGI Snoopy. He has also said that they are recasting the role of Peppermint Patty as she was originally supposed to be played by Lindsay Lohan, who is now in jail.

    (I'm going to get all kinds of interesting search terms now).

    Antipodean, no worries, it was clearly an honest mistake! It's only a problem if you do it again :)

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  8. No chance. I am appropriately chastised.

    -antipodean

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