Wednesday, July 30, 2008

More Facebook Questions

I think it's going to be OK. I've installed the official Scrabble application, which apparently will activate in a couple of weeks. The fact that the US and Canada are getting a different version to the rest of the world means I might not be able to play my sister in London and brother-in-law in Vietnam, but I'll survive. I can still play them at chess and Risk. And I can play Scrabble against other people, including various other bloggers and blog readers.

So: question one. I've played several of you individually, but I'd love to play some bigger games. How much fun would a quest for global blogger domination be??!! Imagine the trash talk!! But while I know a few pseudonymous bloggers' real names, you don't always know each others'. Any suggestions as to how we can all play without giving too much information away?

And question two. I've seen some Facebook etiquette questions on other blogs, along the lines of "should I accept friend requests from my students?", but I've never seen this particular dilemma before. Before I go on I should say that I'm not one of those compulsive "friend" collectors just for the sake of it - everyone on my contacts list is an actual friend, colleague or relative, or someone I feel I "know" quite well through blogging. So. A girl who bullied me for years at high school wants me to be her friend. I'm talking verbal taunts, turning friends against me, throwing my bag into the boys' bathroom at break time so I had to go in to retrieve it when the place was packed, the usual high school stuff. I've ignored her request for weeks and am getting sick of seeing it always there on my home page. So should I:

a) delete it, potentially denying myself the opportunity to get the hell over this (mostly there already);
b) give her the benefit of the doubt (it was a long time ago after all and I'm sure she doesn't throw peoples' bags into boys' bathrooms any more);
c) accept her request just long enough to send her a really mean comment, then remove her from my list;
d) take the opportunity to have some evil fun and mess with her head.

My friends have suggested option d), as in, leave her a message saying "my therapist thinks it's a good idea to confront you, but as I write this through a flood of tears and painful memories I think it was a bad idea, and by the way here's a bill for my therapy sessions". While that would be fun, it's just not me. I'm tending towards option a myself. Thoughts?


  1. I'm interested in larger Scrabble games, but I have to admit I have never been much of a risk fan. Maybe I should try it online and see if I like it better?

    As for the friend request, I take the easy way out and ignore requests I am uncomfortable with. I rationalize it because I really only include those people who actually might be interested in my updates, and will genuinely care if I should post something like "I'm having a bad day".

    Do whatever you are really comfortable with. I don't think there is any single right answer.

  2. Unless it's possible that she wants to get in touch to apologize, I say ignore the request.

    I couldn't decide what to do about Facebook because I wanted to friend bloggers, but I'm not ready to mix blog friends and real life friends since few people in real life know about my blog. I forgot though, that I created an account using my blog pseud. I don't really like scrabble, so I didn't think I needed facebook to interact with bloggers, but now that you mention risk, I might have to try facebook again. I like risk. :)

  3. I'm all about the Scrabble on Facebook but have only started playing other bloggers in the past week or so.

    I enjoy Facebook for getting back in touch with long, lost friends. This person doesn't sound like they ever were a friend though so I would probably ignore the friend request.

  4. Hmmm, I don't play Scrabble, and haven't yet tried Facebook...

    Although I can see the temptation of option "d", I think I'm with you on "a"; I'd just ignore the request from your "friend."

  5. You could go for option c, and switch to b or d depending on what happens.

  6. I'm talking verbal taunts, turning friends against me, throwing my bag into the boys' bathroom at break time so I had to go in to retrieve it when the place was packed, the usual high school stuff.

    And all that time you just took it, and took it and took it, always offering the other cheek... right ? ;-)

    Anyway, friendship offers are routinely ignored for all sort of reasons, chiefly because we do not all use FB for the same purposes. If the person whose offer is rejected and/or ignored makes a big deal about it, (s)he is off base.
    So, based on what you are writing I'd say, just ignore the request.

  7. Hmmm, lots of people up for big Scrabble and Risk games! Maybe we could follow EcoGeoFemme's example and use a pseudonymous FB account just for games? Although actually I'll just use my real name, which I'm sure you all know by now anyway!

    I kinda like Bob's suggestion with the friend request! I'll give it a bit more thought but will probably just go with a. Using my married name on FB has meant that so far I've only had requests from people who know me well (i.e. know I changed my name), and this is the first time I've ever had a request from someone who's not an actual friend. So I've never ignored a request before.

    And Okham, yeah, I pretty much did just take it... not many options when you're a super-nerd in a VERY mixed ability British state school... when I tell you that about 20% of the girls in my year were pregnant by the time they were 15, with one that I know of being divorced with 2 kids at 18, you'll get an idea of the kind of school it was! Some great teachers though.

  8. Now I come to think about it, I did hit someone once, when I was about 13 - a friend of the girl in question. She was pulling my hair so I whacked her in the stomach. It's the only time I've ever hit anyone in anger (except my sister of course) and damn it felt good. She more or less left me alone after that!

  9. I whacked her in the stomach.

    Hmm... if you can do the same with SuperPoke, maybe it's all right to friend her, then :-)
    (man, I hate jet lag...)

  10. How's this for a coincidence? I recently received an FB request from someone whose name I kind of recognized. I accepted the request so that I could further investigate mystery girl. It finally came to me yesterday. This is the bitch who harassed me for about six months by coming through my checkout line at Kroger Grocery Store and threatening me with some kind of physical altercation. I immediately removed her from my friend list.

  11. Okham, it might be fun to throw a sheep at her. But I really, really don't want to install superpoke.

    Microbiologistxx, that's crazy! Was there any other connection except for her being a customer?!

  12. I pick A.

    As for Scrabble Beta, it SUCKS. I tried it a couple days ago and it was horrible. It took forever to load and the animation was bad. And also it's ridiculous if you can't play people outside the US and Canada!! That's like ... the point of Facebook.

    So I signed up for Wordscraper which is from the guys behind Scrabulous. It's like Scrabble only you can build your own board and also the tiles are circular. I think we have to put some time into figuring out what the perfect board is, but after that we can keep using the same board.

    I am up for large blogging games as well. I accepted your Attack invitation but those things always confuse me as to what I'm supposed to do next! Anyway, I'd love to play with anyone else. I go by my real name which I'm sure everyone knows now as I'm only very barely anonymous!

  13. I saw the wordscraper game you started with me - looks like a good option! I'll send you a Risk invitation (when I get home) with EcoGeoFemme on it too. That's a good start at least!

  14. No, I got sick of using my initials but wanted to make sure you all know who I am, hence the @ part!

  15. She went to my High school and was in one of my classes.
    I don't remember the actual incident that started the dislike on her part, but considering my short fuse and inability to tolerate drama, it is probably safe to assume that I confronted her about something or told her off. I vividly remember her stalking me at work though, because I couldn't believe how long she kept it up. It was kind of scary because I am pretty sure she could have kicked my ass.

  16. It's funny because in my head, I run the initials together so you're my friend "Cay!" I guess I will have to teach my head "Cath" not "Cay."

    Also, I can't seem to get Attack to load. I'll keep trying but it's not looking good....

  17. ah, the thoughts and ponderings about FB. I'd go with A. Although D is tempting but it probably wouldn't work (in my case anyway 'coz they are too stupid to get subtle hints and outright aggression is just blattant...)

    anyhow, I really don't get some of my former high school 'friends' who wanted to be friends at Fb but yet has to say a word to me. What is the point with that? Just being able to collect many friends?

    As for the scrabble/risk. i'd love it but since my connection to facebook is blotchy at best I think I'll leave it for a while... good luck to y'all though ;)

  18. Arduous, that's what the stupid lower case names in the comments do for you, and one of the reasons I switched!

    Chall, I don't understand the friends collectors either. I won't ignore a request from someone I actually know and like, but then so many of them are never heard from again. I suppose at least I have their contact info in case I ever need it!

  19. Well, I'm very late to the discussion, but I'd definitely ignore it. EGF might be right and she might want to apologize, but she could do that by sending a personal message with the friend request. But she didn't....

    Heh...I was both devastated and a little relieved when Scrabulous vanished. I loved playing, but let's face it, I was getting my butt kicked in all the games I had going.

    Would love to play group games with other bloggers, but don't want to mix real-life friends with blogging friends. Hmm...what to do???

  20. Pseudonymous Facebook account maybe?


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