Friday, March 13, 2009

The hidden messages in birthday cards

"Remember how pretty your home town is? Isn't it lovely? When are you moving back?"

"Dude, can you believe we're in our thirties???!!!! Just remember that I will always be four months younger than you"

"Hey, I told the Vatican about your drunk dialling exploits in Glasgow, and they're sending their elite water skiing nun hit squad to come and get you"

Um.... dunno, any ideas?!


  1. "Dude, can you believe we're in our thirties???!!!! Just remember that I will always be four months younger than you"

    So it's a BAD thing to say this to a friend that's a little older than you? Hmmm ... maybe that's why I hadn't heard from my best friend since his birthday a few weeks ago. Or may it was the fact that I told him to enjoy the last year of his 30's before he became officially old.

  2. Clearly, don't be a sheep, don't follow the crowd...

  3. this reminds me I received the most horrifying birthday card this year and wanted to blog about it ... well maybe next year ;)
    Someone also send me tulips on a postcard, so the hint about "come back home" found me too.

  4. Dude, can you believe we're in our thirties???!!!!

    I wonder at this sometimes.

    As for bewaring the sheep, I always recommend this. Though I am even more adamant about bewaring the cows, because cows are bloody shifty damned creatures. And don't get me started on roosters - they're just plain evile, nasty little beasts!!!

  5. Happy Birthday! and watch out for those water skiing nuns. I still forget that i'm in my 30's, until I try recovering from a 25 minute run..

  6. Bob, I hope you're feeling sheepish after that terrible pun!

    PiT, the card didn't actually say that, but she does say it in person whenever I see her. It's fair payback for all the times I told her "you don't get to join the Brownies/Guides, take driving lessons, drink (legally) for another four months!!!" etc etc.

    Propter, I like that interpretation! Either that or she's seen Black Sheep...

    Nina, do tell!

    DuWayne, I've been chased across a muddy field in the Yorkshire Dales by a herd of young cows before. Evil beasties, they chewed my friend's jacket and forced us to jump over a massive dry stone wall. Never had any problems with the sheep though.

    SM, thanks! (It was last month). Yeah, the nuns are scary... and a 25 minute run is about 22 minutes more than I can manage!

  7. Look at those nuns go! You must have woken them up at a bad time, Cath!

  8. Apparently so... and I'm just a few blocks from the water... looking over my shoulder a lot... it's a long way from Rome though.

  9. haha, I am still reeling about that "you will soon be closer to 40 than 30 birthay that will happen..... in a few years" ;) Age angst? nahhh... (maybe just a little)

    I love the first card. Although, it is as you say. "look how lovely your home town is. don't you miss water and OLD buildings and ...."

  10. Hahahahhahaha, you've been hunted by cows! That's priceless and hilarious.

    *And it has nothing to do with the fact that Hermitage has been attacked by dairy cows...twice*

  11. You have a real talent... Hallmark will be calling soon, I'm sure! :-)

  12. Chall, I'm not quite there yet... I had no problem with turning 30 (proper grown-up), but 40 will be scarier!

    I have all kinds of birthday cards and calendars with my home county on them... hmmm, wonder why that is?!

    Hermitage, once is unfortunate, twice suggests that you've had a bounty put on your head by the moo-fia. D'ya eat a lot of steak or something?

    UR, I can write crappy poems as well as crappy slogans, my future is assured!

  13. It's a black sheep - maybe you are supposed to be good, like a regular white sheep?? Strange...

  14. I am not sure what that means, but you should probably take it very, very seriously.

  15. I'd definitely worry about the nuns. There are convents all over the world...

  16. SF, just the face is black - that's a common breed around my home town. But yeah, I am the black sheep of the family for 1) doing science rather than modern languages and 2) moving to Canada.

    XX, I will, as soon as I figure out what it means!

    Amanda, nuns are inherently scary. You should hear some of the stories my Irish Catholic school educated friend has...

  17. I am a shameless consumer of steak and milk. I suppose I am enemy no. 1 on many a cow moo-fia list...

  18. I think these are really cool messages to be inserted in the cards..but i dont think that they would not be liked by the birthday boys/girls..

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