Friday, March 6, 2009

Search bots

Anyone who follows the comments and posts of the week feature in the sidebar will have spotted that ScienceGirl was one of the winners this week, with a mention of "that worm-looking thingy that tried living in your friend". She was referring, of course, to the bot fly incident.

That post has been the source of some very entertaining Google search terms recently. In increasing order of "DUDE!!! WTF???!!!":
  • bot fly in hands
  • bot fly up your ass
  • how would you change your room to care for a bot fly
Bot fly hostess extraordinaire Kyrsten responded to my email about the last query (which came from Toronto, by the way) with "Lmao! You would give it a good healthy leg for it to snack on/in!"

I just feel really, really sorry for anyone who finds that post using some variation on "ingrown hair on bikini line" and ends up freaking out about parasites. Don't worry gals, unless you've been to Central America recently, you probably just have an ingrown hair.

I also liked:
  • grantsmanship limerick
  • how to pick up a ukranian accent
  • how to make your accent sound intelligent
  • angry european cuttlefish
  • what does fancy a cuppa mean
  • fuck noroviruses
And I'm not going to post the search terms that are bringing people to this post. I'd rather not encourage the worryingly large number of people who are trying to figure out a way to do naughty things in their workplace and/or in front of paying audiences in performance venues.

OK, ski minus 39 hours and counting. I'm off to the pub.

12 comments:

  1. how to make your accent sound intelligent

    Hahaha - sometimes I think this is something I need to work on!

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  2. how to pick up a ukranian accent

    And here I thought everyone was after an intelligent-sounding British accent!

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  3. You do realize that by posting those Google search strings, you've now effectively moved your blog up the list of hits the next time someone searches for "bot fly up your ass"! :-)

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  4. PiT, I thought everyone loved your accent!

    SG, maybe it was a Brit wanting to sound more intelligent in the UK?!

    MH, very true, but I thought it was worth it for the laugh!

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  5. angry european cuttlefish: the worst kind of cuttlefish...

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  6. Cath: they do! If I had a penny for every time someone told me they loved the way I spoke, I'd be rich. It's just that when I see/hear people from home being interviewed on tv/radio (particularly those from the more rural areas) it can be really jarring and I wonder if people perceive me as being more or less intelligent simply because of my accent. But then I remember that I'm not the one with the accent :)

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  7. HA! On an fairly recent trip to central America I got to "interact" with bot flies. Ick.

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  8. Search terms area always funny fodder for posts!

    Have fun skiing!!!! Woohoo!

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  9. I would just like to you tell you I am 100000x more afraid of the outdoors thanks to that botfly post than I was before. And I already scream at the sight of butterflies!

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  10. Albatross, I wouldn't know, my only acquaintance with cephalopods is in the form of food...

    PiT, I know exactly what you mean... my accent immediately places me (to a Brit) as Northern lower middle class, which is not very advantageous to me. Thank goodness most North Americans can't tell the difference between that and Emma Thompson...

    UR, please tell me you didn't get one yourself...

    PD, thanks! I did!

    Hermitage, sorry! Just don't go to Central America and you should be fine. (Except for the bears and moose).

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  11. oh guys, it's not like the bot fly actually hurt me until AFTER I realized it was there! I wouldn't let something that small stop me from going outdoors :)

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  12. You have to admit that the pain is less relevant than the general ickiness.

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I promise to respond to all respectful non-spam comments! Don't be shy! Oh, and please don't type my surname in your comments; I know you all know what it is, but I'd prefer Google to rank other pages before this blog.

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