Last night I caught Mr E Man and Divorcing Friend* watching the last ten minutes of a show called "Deadliest Warrior"**. The concept of this high quality television programme is an in-depth and very shouty-macho dissection of a hypothetical fight between different kinds of warrior. Pirate vs. Knight, Viking vs. Samurai, Shoalin Monk vs. Maori, Spartan vs. Ninja - you get the idea. Completely stupid and pointless***.
I decided that the only way to cope was to start suggesting even more ridiculous match-ups. I started with "drunken Scotsman vs. American crack-head", and they took the ball and ran with it:
"A Wookie and a Klingon!"
"Sarah Palin vs. a rabid monkey!"
"Wolverine and a zombie!"
This proved to be much more entertaining than either actual show. As was Facebook. And an actual book.
*still living with us, despite becoming the official tenant of our basement suite at the weekend. OK, so he has no bed yet, but still. I'm starting to get a bit annoyed. At least he's using the shower down there though.
**their excuse was that they were waiting for the start of "The Ultimate Fighter: United States vs. United Kingdom", which is kinda like saying that you only stabbed someone because you were waiting for your new gun to be delivered. And no, just because I am British, I am not suddenly interested in watching UFC-based reality TV with you.
***for the record, Mr E Man agrees, but asserts that he has a right to watch stupid and pointless TV after working so hard: 12 hours a day, 7 days a week at the moment. He may have a point.