On her Majesty's secret service

So you know how, in many spy movies, James Bond or Jason Bourne or some other suave and sophisticated guy will open up a folder or a safe and reveal a selection of different identity documents, from different countries, and with different names on them?

I always thought that was pretty damn cool.

Well, check me out:Everything an international woman of mystery needs. Next job: save the world

And they're even in different names!!!!

Not for long though - now that I have my coveted Canadian passport I can send off my UK passport to get the name changed without worrying about being stranded with no travel documents. (And I can also write about my Canadian immigration experiences, as requested by various people. I'll get started soon, I promise!)

Don't stop till you get enough (bandwidth)

This explains a lot!

I had four applications going into the same competition yesterday, with a 4pm deadline. The funding agency's website, and my internet access in general, slowed to a crawl and I barely got the last one submitted. I suspected that it might have had something to do with Michael Jackson as this was a local competition without enough last-minute applicant activity to crash the BBC and Nature Network! The global effects were probably amplified locally, as all our traffic routes through a portal on the main UBC campus and is known to bottleneck from time to time. No streaming video or radio for me at work!

Michael Jackson may be dead...?

The BBC is citing "unconfirmed reports"

Not what I expected when my home page opened up...

For people my age (32), he was The Guy when we were first getting into music. And Madonna was The Gal. Despite subsequent shenanigans and crap songs, those are some precious memories, of dancing around my friend's bedroom to Bad.

Weird feeling!

Art appreciation class

Here's a shockingly bad photo* of a painting in a local restaurant.


Mr E Man and I ate there for the first time last week, and had a disagreement about the interpretation of this painting. It reminded both of us of Moulin Rouge, obviously, but I was struck by the contrast between Nicole Kidman's visible joy and sense of fun in her scene on the swing, and the sadness on the face of this woman.

"She's not sad", opined my husband, "she's scared. Of falling off the swing, or of the audience grabbing her or something".

The waiter agreed with me, even though Mr E Man was holding the bill and his credit card.

I know it's a terrible photo, but what do you think?!

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*Mr E Man has borrowed my iPhone AGAIN today, leaving me in the dark ages with no music to listen to or games to play. If this continues I'm hoping he'll want to keep it, so I can justify getting the new model with quadruple the capacity and a much better camera.

Cyborgs!

Get Your Cyborg Name

I'm yearning for nocturnal sleep, actually. And maybe a cookie.

(H/T Biomechanical Operational Being Optimised for Hazardous Assassination and Rational Analysis)

ETA:

Get Your Monster Name

That's more like it.

Resoluquinox: the summer solstice update

Wow, has it been three months already?!

I've had mixed success with my resolutions:

A) CAREER

i) do everything I can to make sure I get to stay on in my job after my original two year contract expires in November.

I have a verbal "probably". The exact source of the funds is not decided yet, and the source will determine the job description, but I'm reasonably confident that I'll still be doing something very similar to my current job come December. I'm doing my best to keep on proving my usefulness, and hopefully I'll be considered indispensable by contract renewal time!

ii) stop procrastinating and develop my freelance writing

I did get the first royalties for the big group project I completed at the beginning of 2008. I thought I'd arranged a freebie gig for a local charity that funds biological research, but I seem to have fallen through the cracks due to maternity leave and workloads at the other end. They did like the sample research summary articles I sent them though, so maybe this will be resurrected. I hope so, their newsletter goes to tens of thousands of people and looks very professional!

I was supposed to be on a freelancing course yesterday and next Saturday, but it got cancelled due to under subscription. Boooo.

I do need to do better here. (And get my course refund too).

B) HEALTH

i) Exercise more

I'm doing pretty well, actually! A combination of the iPhone application and excellent advice from Mermaid has really helped with the running. I started about six weeks ago at 7 minutes 30 seconds total time, with 1:00+0:30 walk+run intervals, and today I did a total of 28 minutes with 1:00+6:00 walk + run intervals. Quite the improvement! I'm going running twice a week, and going swimming or doing circuits (occasionally both) once per week too. Plus of course cycling 12 km of hills most weekdays. I think this is the biggest success on the list. Not that I've seen any major improvements on my hips or on the scales... but I'm sure my cardiovascular system is thanking me!

ii) stretch more

A necessity when running, so I'm doing better here.

iii) improve my diet

FAIL! Running makes me hungry. Swimming makes me really, really hungry. My diet wasn't terrible to start with, but I do need to do better...

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As for the late additions:

"Play my guitar more"

More, yes, but from a very infrequent bass line baseline. Must Do Better.

"Don't neglect the garden as much as last year"

SUCCESS! It's looking quite respectable. I've had an email request for photos, I will oblige soon I promise...

BOOM, baby!

Baby number one of the summer has arrived!

An as-yet unnamed little girl, by C-section at 2 pm PST. Many congratulations to proud parents Sally and Steve!

Four more to go before July 20th, including baby #1's cousin! One baby is expected in Seattle, the others in Vancouver. There's a second wave (currently n=2) hitting Vancouver in November.

My friends have been busy*, and I will be a busy Auntie! My duties start tomorrow, when I'll be taking two of the remaining very pregnant mums out for their last child-free dinner for a while...

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*I don't know what was in the water that month, I'm just glad that I apparently didn't drink it

YTF?

My name is NOT. CATHY.

My given name is Catherine, and my parents still call me that. Everyone else has called me Cath since I was 14. I don't dislike the name Cathy itself, I just really don't like it on me - I don't think it suits me at all. Plus I have two close friends and one sister-in-law called Cathy (or Kathy), and it's nice to be distinctive*.

This was never a problem in the UK, where Cath is a relatively common name. But here in Canada, people just can't seem to get their heads around it. If I introduce myself as Cath, the person invariably says "...Cathy?" in a confused voice. Cath just doesn't register as a name, even in writing; if I email a new contact and sign off with my preferred name, 9 times out of 10 the reply will read "Dear Cathy". Only one person has ever realised and apologised for this.

I don't know where these people are pulling the y from, but I know where they can stick it.

Now, I've always thought that (in person at least) I've corrected the Cathy people very politely, and with a smile, but the perception among one particular group of friends is that I aggressively jump down people's throats if they call me by the wrong name (Mr E Man assures me that I never actually have). So now, when a new acquaintance calls me Cathy, I can't even get one polite word in before at least two of my friends shout "OH NO! Don't call her that! She'll kill ya!"

These days I introduce myself as Catherine over the phone, and often in person too. Then I can just casually drop in a "most people call me Cath" at a convenient time if the relationship develops. But this tends to confuse the people who already know me, especially at work.

I'm sure this problem isn't unique to me - does anyone have any advice?!

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*Undergrad roommates included Catherine, Cathy, and Kate. Then I lived with a Cathy in Glasgow, and (at different times) a Kat and a Katie in Vancouver. During undergrad, my parents would call and ask for Catherine, Catherine's parents called her Cathy, and Cathy's parents called her Cath. Our other four roomies dreaded having to answer the phone.

Modern life is rubbish loud

So I'm loving my podcasts. I signed up for all your suggestions (and then some), and have stuck with most of them. I save the music podcasts for work; to my surprise I've found that spoken word works better than music for running and other exercise. Having something to actively listen to, rather than familiar music that doesn't require any higher-level processing, seems to take my mind off the fact that I'm doing something so unnatural and ridiculous. The only drawback is that I usually choose comedy, and laughing out loud while running around the cemetery* with a beet-red face tends to make other people cross to the other side of the path.

I do sometimes worry about the effects on my poor abused ears though. I already have mild tinnitus thanks to too many loud gigs and club nights during my student days, and I often struggle to pick out individual conversations at poker night, when six to eight people are usually engaged in three or four separate conversations around one big table. My last comprehensive hearing test results came back as slap bang in the middle of the normal range, and I don't think I've deteriorated much in the four or five years since then, but I'm definitely way down from where I was in my early twenties.

Unfortunately, cranking the iPod volume sometimes seems unavoidable. Take yesterday. I went to apply for my pisspot passport first thing in the morning (it's for a work trip, therefore doing it on work time is OK, right?!), so I took the bus and skytrain downtown to the passport office. Walking to the bus stop along a main road, I had to start turning up the volume to compensate for the noise of the passing cars. It doesn't matter so much with music, but with spoken word you can't start missing five second chunks every twenty seconds. Waiting to cross the intersection with a busier road, I had to turn the volume up again to compensate for the trucks.

On the bus the volume initially came back down, but then got cranked again to compensate for several nearby conversations, each in a different language. Not to mention the noise of the bus, its "next stop" announcements, and passing traffic. Being an electric bus it was silent when not in motion, and I had to hurriedly turn the volume back down at one intersection when all conversations simultaneously stopped and I got worried about my seatmate overhearing parts of the Savage Love cast... (link possibly NSFW, depending on your W).

The skytrain was even worse; I gave up completely once we reached the underground section** and the sound of wheels on rails was joined by the tunnel noises.

But after getting off the train and into the quiet of a very posh mall, I pressed "play" again and was suddenly, painfully, blasted by my over-cranked earbuds.

The same thing happened at work this afternoon when resuming a podcast I'd been listening to at the gym, in competition with the usual sound system, a second music source outside, and frequent tannoy announcements about new classes.

The thing is, in both cases, I'd been struggling to hear the podcast properly before leaving the louder environment. Realising how loud my iPod had actually been, in addition to the potential detrimental effects of the ambient noise in such loud environments, is making me rethink where and when I listen to my iPod. I know you can get those fancy headphones that block all outside noise so you can play your stuff at a much lower volume, but I kinda like to be able to hear oncoming cars when I'm oot and aboot. Plus my iPhone headset has an integral microphone that I use a lot.

Any suggestions?

Oh, and do you like the solution I found to my headset storage problem?



It's now protected and tangle-free, and I got to recycle a tic-tac container into the bargain!

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*I promise I'm not being evil or disrespectful! The huge cemetery is positively teeming with joggers, cyclists, and people out walking their dogs (and occasionally, parrots). No-one seems to mind. I do get off my bike and walk through the war memorial and veterans' grave section on my way to and from work though; I could never treat that area as just another part of my commute. And I never run through that section.

**yes, we have underground "sky" trains in Vancouver. We're very special.

Equality gap

I was in the Gap yesterday (please don't judge -their jeans are the only ones that fit me!) and noticed an interesting sign at the till:

SALE!
20% off all women's summer dresses!

I pointed it out to the sales clerk, and asked him if they sold any men's dresses.

"Sadly not!" he laughed.

And it made me think: if the Gap ever starts selling dresses for men, it will be a proud day for equality.

Yeah, yeah, I know - such small niche markets probably won't be represented in my local mall any time soon, if ever. It would be nice though.

I bet the internet has done wonders for cross-dressing men - I remember seeing those shops in the red light districts of Newcastle*, Glasgow and Vancouver and thinking that it wasn't fair that some people had to do their shopping in the scuzziest areas of town rather than in clean, bright malls and pleasant pedestrian areas.

Yay, internet! (Hugs MacTavish)

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*comment from drunk, naive, 18-year-old friend as we queued up for the next-door club on student night, lo these many moons ago: "wow, those are really, really big shoes! Who would ever want stilettoes in that size?!"

It's gonna be the best birthday EVAH!

I finally got my grubby mitts on some Olympic tickets! And it only took 53 minutes of watching the browser refresh in the "virtual waiting room"!

Feb 15th: Men's snowboard cross finals
Feb 16th: Men's hockey prelims, Canada-Norway
Feb 17th: Women's hockey prelims, Canada-Sweden
Feb 18th: Men's curling prelims (10 minute walk from my house!)

I'll hopefully be celebrating my birthday with a Canadian victory! (Sorry, Norway)

Wooooooooooooooooo!

Cover me

As soon as I saw the first cover meme post pop up, I thought of this song... but couldn't use it.

It's not a good cover, because it's horribly naff.

But it's not a bad cover, because it's deliberately naff.

It's a kind of genius, actually.

So here's my pick for "most deliberately cheesy and naff cover version", although Arlenna's picks give it a run for its money.

Cover meme

I was tagged for the cover meme by Mrs Comet Hunter. Naturally I had to give the matter some serious consideration, at the risk of various other bloggers stealing choosing my picks, which they went ahead and did. So no Britney Spears, Celine Dion, or Sheryl Crow* here.

(Those were my picks for worst cover, just in case there was any doubt).

I discussed my picks with Mr E Man over dinner the other night, and he wanted to play too, so I've included his choices as well as my own.

Best cover

My pick: Muse (responsible for my best ever live music experience) doing "Feeling Good", originally recorded by Nina Simone.

Mr E Man's pick: Eric Clapton's version of JJ Cale's "After Midnight" (we saw JJ Cale a couple of months ago and he was simply amazing).

My runners up: Alien Ant Farm's version of "Smooth Criminal", the Beatles' "Twist and Shout", Guns'n'Roses doing "Live and Let Die", and of course "Gin and Juice" by the Gourds.

Worst cover

My pick: Candy Flip doing "Strawberry Fields". I was 13 when this came out and I still knew it was just wrong.

Mr E Man's pick: "Kiss" by Tom Jones. I protested this one strongly as I love Tom Jones (I'm still British after all, I think it's compulsory) and much prefer this version to the original by Prince, who I find creepy.

I tag: anyone else who will admit to liking Tom Jones!

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*I usually like Sheryl, but that cover was not. cool.

Cats are so dumb

It's hot here right now - record-breaking hot, way too hot for fur coats.

I've been feeling very sorry for Google and Saba, but unfortunately they're just far too stupid to take advantage of any of my mitigating actions:

• They are terrified of both standing and ceiling fans, and run away from them into the hotter areas of the house
• They thought the ice cubes I put in their water bowls were toys to be fished out and batted under the dresser, where they are now forming inaccessible puddles
• They really, really do not like being sprinkled with water from the watering can

I give up. They are currently lying on the kitchen floor like pathetic furry rags. Ah well, it's supposed to start cooling down soon.

Cookie politics

Conversation with Mr E Man last night:

Him: "I got some Girl Guide cookies"

Me: "Oh, whatcha do that for? I'll have to eat them now, and it's too hot to exercise"

Him: "I couldn't help it! There were like twelve Girl Guides in the supermarket, once they spotted me I had no choice!"

Me: "Oh alright then, I'll have one of the chocolate ones". (Om nom nom)

Him: "I said 'it doesn't matter which one of you I buy them from, right, the money all goes to the same place?' And then they all went crazy and started yelling 'buy from me, buy from me!' There was this one girl, she was all popular and trendy with those huge sunglasses and shiny hair, and she was literally jumping up and down and yelling"

Me: "So did you buy from her?"

Him: "No! I ignored her and gave my money to the quietest, geekiest girl"

Me: "I love you"

Hooray! This formerly painfully shy, quiet, geeky girl guide is very proud of her husband.

I'm so glad we didn't meet in high school though - I probably would have had a secret crush on him, and he probably would have completely ignored the goody-two-shoes geek while he skipped class and smoked under the bleachers. (Oh yes, I've heard stories!)

And here's what awaited me at work this morning...

Do I have awesome colleagues or what?!

Ceremony photos

Copied from my Nature Network blog. My apologies to any of you who read both, but dinner is almost ready...

The ceremony was great. The participants came from 22 different countries, with every (inhabited) continent represented. There was talk of rights, freedoms, responsibilities, tolerance, and the Canadian family.

But the best part?

The oath was administered by a scientist!

One I’d heard of!

Me with Robert Hancock

Dr. Hancock talked about his own experience of becoming Canadian after time spent living in England, Singapore, Australia, Germany, and the US. And he also delivered a very strong message about protecting the environment of this beautiful country.

Beautiful indeed… and hot enough for a swim in the Pacific, despite the snow on the mountains

The icing on the cake of a wonderful day.

And after the cake, the champagne…

…in plastic cups, because you’re not allowed to drink alcohol on the beach.

We didn’t get caught, but for the first time, I wasn’t worried.

They can’t deport me any more.