Another blogger meet-up!

This was the first meet-up to which I brought a chaperone. After all, that ScientistMother is scary.

KIDDING!

We were actually at a Cafe Scientifique event about the "convenience" barriers that prevent people from choosing more sustainable options (e.g. remembering to bring reusable bags to the store so you don't need to use the plastic ones), and I brought a non-bloggy friend who is very interested in the field. And apparently I was the scary one - after telling ScientistMother that every blogger I'd met so far was just how I'd imagined them, I said "it's too early to tell with you, though" and got a worried look in return. The first laugh of many that night!

After a few more hours, I was able to conclude that ScientistMother is just how I imagined*. Very bright, very passionate, and definitely not afraid to speak out and express her opinions (in a good way! The speaker was being naive/simplistic when he said money was the biggest barrier to getting more people to take transit, and ScientistMother was right that time can be much more of an obstacle. And, true to blog life, once ScientistMother had taken the plunge and become the first person to jump in, others followed, and a better conversation evolved).

Once the event was over, we had an awesome and wide-ranging conversation about science, blogging, the environment, and (of course!) Monkey (soooooooooo cute! Thanks for sharing your photos, ScientistMother!). I hope we'll do it again soon!

I did find it funny that after all this talk of time and money being obstacles to taking transit, ScientistMother dropped me off at a bus stop, and I was more or less immediately handed a transfer ticket (with 50 minutes still on it) by a kind and generous passerby, and then the bus arrived within a minute...

-----------------

*Am I just how she imagined? Let's just say that she seemed very surprised that I didn't want to go in on a pitcher (I'd just started my 2nd pint when she arrived!)

Summer lovin', had me a blast

Tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight?

When I think back to the day I first met you, I can't help but feel ashamed. With all those more handsome specimens around (surely even you would admit this!), I not only overlooked you; I actively dismissed you as a possibility. I didn't think my friends would like you, and I'm sorry that my ridiculous vanity and snobbery robbed us of a few more precious moments we could have spent together.

Tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?

When those flashy, handsome dudes finally revealed their serious character flaws to me, I turned to you. The moment we touched, I succumbed to your charms. Such chemistry! It was immediately clear that we were made for one another, and if my friends don't like you, well, that's their loss.

He showed off, splashing around

Oh, what a wonderful summer! Those long walks on the beach, those ocean swims! I always felt so safe, knowing you were there to protect me. I wish I could have taken you on the nice long kayak trip I promised, but as you know, I've been saving all my vacation days for the exotic trip we're taking together - soon, my love, soon!

It turned colder, that's where it ends

But, until then, it is time to say goodbye. The air has turned autumnal, the trees are developing their beautiful yellow and red hues. It was a wonderful summer fling - and don't let anyone tell you it didn't mean a thing.

But (oh). Those summer nights.

My sole-mate

UPDATED Blogger Fantasy Hockey League is a go!

Yay!

To join, you'll first need to register for the game here. You can definitely use a pseudonym - I'm playing under username VWXYNot.

After you've entered your picks, go to the Group Membership page.

The group name is VWXYNot

(I am sooooo original)


The group password is luongorules

(I hope this doesn't prevent any of my non-Canuck fan blog buddies from signing up. You don't have to actually type it, just copy and paste ;) )

The deadline for entering the first week's player picks is 07:00 PM ET on Thursday, Oct. 1, 2009. They send reminders each week; you can just carry your existing team over into the next week, if you don't want to invest too much time. They tell you which players are out injured/suspended, which cuts down on the hockey knowledge needed!

My team is rather heavy on Canucks and former Canucks! (Guess who my goalie is). That might change as the season progresses, but right now I'm a little hazy on players from other teams, trades, new prospects etc.

Good luck, and remember, there will be a prize! The winner gets their choice of a $50 Amazon gift certificate, or equivalent value item from the NHL store. (And yes, that's Canadian dollars). If you absolutely don't want to give me your address, I believe PayPal allows pseudonymous accounts - but that's much less fun!

If I win, all other entrants have to send me cookies.

UPDATE!!! Someone joined the pool whose name I don't recognise. If this was a regular reader, please can you email and let me know who you are? I guess seeing as I put the password in a public place and all, randoms can join - but the prize is only open to my blog buddies! I aint sending $50 to a complete stranger.

UPDATED Blogger hockey pool, anyone?

Last night's game reminded me why I love hockey.

It had everything: a penalty shot, a 3-0 lead to the good guys, a come-back by the bad guys, the home team going 4-3 down, what looked like a perfectly good Canucks goal being disallowed with 10 seconds to go in the third, the start of a "bullshit, bullshit" chant from the crowd, another Canucks goal with 0.2 seconds left on the clock (and the crowd halfway through the third repetition of "-shit"), overtime, a sudden-death penalty shoot-out, and finally, victory! Oh, and a happy, good-natured crowd, where the Flames fan who shouted "you guys got lucky!" in a SkyTrain station packed with Canucks fans was treated to laughter and slaps on the back, rather than a beating. Quite a shock for an English football fan ;)

And it's still only pre-season!

Prof-like Substance's NFL pool seems to be going well; would anyone care to join me in an NHL version? Let me know in the comments! And please let me know whether you'd be prepared to sign up for a 3rd party site that would do a lot of the work and let us create our own sub-league - it allows pseudonyms, and we used it with great success (and much hilarity) for Euro 2008. I can provide regular updates and graphs.

The season starts in a week or two. GO CANUCKS GO!

UPDATE in response to a question emailed by a reader. I was thinking of using the league run by Rogers Sportsnet. You pick players each week:

"Your fantasy team will consist of 2 Centres, 4 Wingers, 3 Defensemen and 1 Goalie. Each player available to be chosen has been assigned a value between 1 and 10 based on past and predicted performance. Each Week, the challenge is to put together a 10 player team that will score the most fantasy points while not exceeding the of 50."

and you can set up your own private league within the larger competition. It's a Canadian site, but from past experience with their football pools, non-residents can play (but may not be eligible for the prizes).

BUT!!! I will offer a first-place prize of my own. Maybe an Amazon voucher, maybe something related to the NHL or the 2010 Vancouver-Whistler Winter Olympics.

Tuesday pet peeve: for fax sake!

I really, really, really hate fax machines.

Seriously, why is anyone still using them now that we have scanners and email? I'm sure they came in very useful in that brief period between their invention and the internet becoming mainstream, but they're vastly inferior to email in almost every way. And yet I've dealt with two companies and one individual this month who insisted on conducting our business by fax.

Here's why I hate fax machines:

Sending faxes sucks
Every machine in our building is different - some require a 9 for an outside line, others don't. Some require a 1 before even a local number, others don't. Some accept the original face down, others, face up: some, right way up, others, upside down.

Even assuming that you've got the original in the right orientation, and dialled the right combination of numbers, successful transmission is not guaranteed. Sometimes you hit a dual-use fax/phone line, and the person picks up and says hello - so you have to try again. Sometimes you lose the connection halfway through transmission. The machine in our office doesn't automatically print reports or otherwise indicate its status, so you have to manually go into the various menus to get it to print out a report telling you if your document transmitted or not.

Even when the document sends properly, how can you be sure the right person received it? I don't know a single person who has their own machine; even friends who have their own business or are otherwise self-employed don't have a fax machine. So the document goes to the shared office machine, whether it's work-related or not, where it might get lost, or picked up by the wrong person (hello, security risk?)

Receiving faxes sucks
On the frequent occasions that our office machine has been busily printing spam, it runs out of paper. Since it's hidden away in the corner and NO-ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND USES A FAX MACHINE ANY MORE, it can take hours or even days for someone to notice and add fresh paper. And then there's the risk that someone else will pick up your item by accident, or spot something private (two of my recent faxing escapades were work-related, the other was/is private* - but I don't have my own fax machine, so the shared office machine it is).

That fax noise really, really sucks
Could they not have come up with a better noise than that (you know the one I mean) to indicate a successful connection?

Please, please, please, let me just scan the damn thing and email it to you. That way I know it's going to the right person. And please, please, please, if you must fax personal items to me, call and let me know so I can a) put paper in the machine and b) ensure that my PRIVATE correspondence is seen only by me.

A plague of fax noise and invaded privacy upon those who insist on using fax machines!

And let's not even get started on the fact that I had to MAIL a CHEQUE to one of these people! Forget PayPal, he/she doesn't even take credit cards!!!

------------------------------
*nothing, like, medical, embarrassing, or career-threatening. But something personal enough that I don't want my office mates to see it. Inevitably, one of them did, and started to ask questions...

Britain's Got Talent Confusing Place Names

Do you ever find yourself cycling/walking/driving along, thinking of this and that or maybe just on autopilot, and then suddenly, for no apparent reason, chuckling over an incident or anecdote from years ago?

I did just that this morning. I have no idea why the memory popped into my head while I was cycling to work, but I suddenly thought of a story a friend told me about a train ride from Newcastle to Edinburgh. She'd started talking to an American couple who were visiting the UK for the first time, and was sharing her knowledge of the region through which they were passing. As the train came to a stop in the lovely seaside town of Berwick-upon-Tweed, the American guy asked, "so, what is there to do in Burr-wick-upon-Tweed?"

This made my friend smile, because contrary to what a foreigner would logically think, Berwick is actually pronounced Berrick. (Warwick is also pronounced Worrick, not War-wick). Being a helpful sort, she politely corrected him with "actually, the w is silent".

"OK then", he replied, "what is there to do in Burr-wick-upon-Teed?"

Now, before I get into other examples of British-town-names-that-North-Americans-pronounce-incorrectly, I'd like to pre-empt any accusations of anti-North-American sentiment by pointing out that I'm aware that this works both ways. When I first moved here, I (and every Brit of my acquaintaince who's visited or immigrated since) mispronounced Chilliwack as Chilly-wack, and Winnipeg as Winny-peg, several times. A kind and helpful Canadian eventually took the piss corrected me, and I've said both names properly (Chill-uh-wack and Winn-uh-peg) ever since.

So. Back to Britain. Leicester rhymes with Fester, and Gloucester rhymes with Foster. Glasgow rhymes with Go, not Cow, and the nearby town of Milngavie is pronounced Mull-guy, but no-one ever gets that one right the first time (and I'm not even touching Wales). Also, county names that end in -shire should sound like -shuh, not -shy-er. (York-shuh, Lester-shuh and so on). -by on the end of a name (e.g. the town of Haxby, where I grew up) signifies a -be sound, not a -buy sound (Hax-be). And -ham on the end of a name should be pronounced -um, not -ham (so it's Old-um, not Old-ham, and Birming-um, not Birming-ham). So far, so good.

It's the -burghs, -boroughs, and -broughs that really trip people up though. You see, they're all pronounced the same way. Yup, Edinburgh, Peterborough, and Middlesbrough all end with the same sound - Edin-bruh, Peter-bruh, Middles-bruh.

No, really, they do.

But the best mispronunciation story ever was told to me by a friend who went to university in the Midlands. He was once asked for directions by a car full of Aussies - and could barely stop laughing for long enough to tell them how to get to Loughborough.

Which is pronounced Luff-bruh.

Not Looga-berooga.

Data Ducks?

Here's a gem from the Microsoft Word Thesaurus:

No, I didn't accidentally insert a space there; I actually clicked a link from the entry for "data". And this was all that popped up.

I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere. Maybe about getting your ducks in a row before using a thesaurus.

BRING IT ON!!!!!

The pre-season Flames tickets are part of my birthday gift to Mr E
Man; he'll probably take his BFF. But I'm going to the Blues game for
sure!

Tuesday pet peeve: the wrong kinds of ignorance

(This post could potentially get me into trouble at work - a rarity on this blog! I therefore wrote it without using any of the keywords that might cause the people involved to find it on Google. My apologies if this makes it unclear).

I have no problem with good old-fashioned, honest ignorance - as long as it comes served with healthy portions of a) awareness of said ignorance and b) willingness to own up to and address the knowledge deficit.

But then there are the other kinds of ignorance:

"I already know how to do this. I don't need to pay attention to these instructions".

"I don't know how to do this, but I'd better not tell anyone - they might be mad at me. I'll just guess".

and, of course, "I don't know, and I don't care".

I've encountered examples of all four recently. Not from my immediate colleagues, but from people who work for various collaborators at different sites across the country. Here's how the story unfolded...

What I needed, Part I:

A PDF from each person, generated by Website 1 in a way that attaches metadata (necessary for recognition by and and upload to Website 2).

What I got, Part I:

1) One email saying "I'm sorry, I have no idea how to do this".

2) One PDF that had been printed out and then scanned back in, rather than just saved (i.e. no metadata).

3) One scanned print-out of various pages from Website 1 (i.e. not only was there no metadata, but half the information was missing).

4) A couple of actual correct PDFs, with metadata.

How I responded, Part I:

1) "No problem, call me and I'll walk you through it".

2) "Grrrrrrr".

3) "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Are you fucking kidding me??!!"

4) Grateful weeping.

--------------------------
What I needed, Part II:

A Word document from each person, with the required sections in the correct order, and following various formatting guidelines I'd provided by email.

What I got, Part II:

A Word document from each person, with some or all of the required sections in more or less the right order. Each one followed a subset of the formatting guidelines, with a unique combination in each document.

How I responded, Part II:

"Am I on TV? Where did you guys hide the camera?"

--------------------------
What I needed, Part III:

Corrections to the above.

What I got, Part III:

A few apologies, and a couple of doses of attitude along the lines of "I don't have time for endless revisions".

How I responded, Part III:

"Fuck this for a game of soldiers, I'll just do it myself".

--------------------------
What I needed, Part IV:

A signature from each person's boss.

What I got, Part IV:

All the required signatures. BUT three people neglected to put my name on the courier envelope*. Hundreds of people work in my building. Our mailroom guys are not allowed to open unaddressed mail.

How I responded, Part IV:

By spending an hour in the mail room, sorting through all the piles and piles of unaddressed mail, and swearing and complaining to the mailroom guys, who fortunately were hilarious and awesome.

--------------------------

Look.

If I ask you to do something, and you don't know how, just tell me. I will help you. I didn't know how to to this stuff when I started, either (no-one does - it's not exactly the most intuitive system in the world). So I asked people who did know, and they helped me. And I kept the instructions. And now I know how to do it, and how to help you.

If you frustrate me enough with your incompetence and learned helplessness that I end up doing it myself, well, at least the damn thing gets done. But you don't learn a thing, and I'll no doubt see you for Round Two next year.

A plague of clowns upon the wilfully ignorant! And not the good kind, the annoying and/or creepy kind!

------------------------------

*Yes, this is technially incompetence rather than ignorance. But I really need to vent about it anyway.

Remember the world's worst courtroom sketches?

I think the artist is now doing the Victoria police's composite sketches:

Disorient express

The Canada Line, the latest addition to Vancouver's SkyTrain rapid transit system, has been up and running for a couple of weeks now*. It connects downtown to the airport, and my favourite bus route to a station one block from my work. Given that I usually only take transit in atrocious weather, I'll be very happy to transfer to the SkyTrain part way to work and avoid the extra five blocks walk from the bus stop down a treacherous icy hill.

This week has been an exception to the weather rule; I rode my bike in the torrential rain on Tuesday and Wednesday, but took the bus and SkyTrain yesterday and today, in blazing sunshine (I'm saving my legs for a planned assault on the Grouse Grind tomorrow). The crowds of confused people around the ticket machines and TransLink employees seemed to suggest that a lot of people are using the Canada Line (and the SkyTrain in general) for the first time this week - and an encounter this morning confirmed my suspicion.

I got off the bus and descended into the station, and was halfway down the stairs just as a train arrived at the closest platform. Three or four of us, including a woman with a small suitcase, made a run for it and bolted through the doors just as they closed.

As the train moved off, the woman turned to me and said, "which way is this train going?"

"Erm, downtown", I replied.

"Oh... I'm heading to the airport. It's my first time on this thing. Guess I'll be getting off and turning around at the next station..."

I hope she didn't get on the very first plane she saw at the airport.

-------------------------
*On budget and three months ahead of schedule. Now that the schools are back in session it's busy, but not overcrowded. An unqualified success. BITE ME, NIMBYS.

The ties that bind

This BBC article about school tie styles brought back lots of memories!

Many British schools are apparently introducing clip-on ties in order to force their students into monotonous conformity "ensure consistency" and "provide an atmosphere of discipline". I think this is a terrible shame; while I agree with the underlying reasons for school uniforms (principally to minimise bullying due to discrepancies in how much parents can afford to spend on branded clothing), there is a proud British schoolkid tradition of subverting uniform codes to rebel against authority and express individuality, and diverse tie styles are a large part of that.

The BBC says "No-one can be precisely sure when the process started - it may even have been decades ago - but it's clear that it's reached crisis point." Decades ago sounds about right to me!

My primary school didn't have a uniform while I was there, and it was only when we moved up to secondary school that we had to learn to tie a proper tie knot. Our uniform consisted of black shoes (not trainers/sneakers), white socks, a navy blue skirt or trousers*, white or pale blue shirt or blouse, navy blue cardigan or V-neck sweater - and a navy blue tie with thin yellow diagonal stripes.

The official uniform code didn't mention shoelaces, and so we expressed ourselves chiefly through that medium. I remember having tartan and then fluorescent laces, while one of my male friends had laces printed with "left" and "right" (and insisted on wearing them on the wrong feet). Our shoes sported a veritable rainbow of individuality.

The official code also neglected to specify tie style, other than saying we had to have our top button done up and the tie knotted just below it. I turned up on my first day, age 11, sporting the traditional tie style that my Dad had taught me and that I'd spent hours perfecting. Only the first-years without older siblings were wearing our ties in this "kipper" style, which immediately marked us out as targets for ridicule.

On the second day, I tied my tie back-to-front, with the narrow part in front and worn long enough to tuck into the waist band of my skirt, and the wide part tucked inside the shirt - just the way the older kids did. My parents both protested, so I retied it the "proper" way - and promptly switched back as soon as I left the house. I wore my tie in this way most days for the next five years, occasionally experimenting with the 1-inch-long-narrow-tie that was the most popular alternative. A few of my friends went for the 2-inch-long-super-wide-tie look, and even unpicked the tie's seams and spread the edges out to get it even wider. (This was, of course, an "ironic" response to the narrow ties of most of their peers). Some of the stricter teachers would make us fix our ties at the start of their classes, but as soon as the bell rang, the styles would magically revert...

Sixth-formers (those of us who stayed on for the optional final two years, from age 16-18) didn't have to wear the uniform. And the school ditched the ties not long after I left, anyway, and switched to a more modern trousers-polo shirt-sweatshirt combo instead. Most kids were pretty happy with the change, but - and here's the important thing - they continued to rebel through the medium of shoelaces.

As the BBC article says, "there will just be other ways to rebel."

---------------------------
*For my first couple of years at the school, girls were only allowed to wear trousers from November to March. This unpopular restriction was finally overturned when we got our first ever female Muslim classmate.

I supersized my beer, too

One litre of local microbrewed goodness

Supersize me!

It's that time of year again.

Mid-August to mid-October is Big Canadian Grants time and, as usual, I'm feeling the pressure of deadlines and red tape.

I usually respond by increasing the number of cups of tea I drink each day.

But not this year!

I just bought a new cup.

We must, we must, we must increase our cup size!

Denial WIN! And, say what you want about Starbucks, but they sell the biggest mugs in town.

Sorry, Mermaid - I still love the Creativi-tea cup that you got me! I'm just using it for juice instead.

--------------
p.s. my colleague said that my new mug was inappropriate for tea and should only be used for coffee.

"Because it says Starbucks Coffee on it?"

"No, because it's brown. And coffee is brown."

"So is tea!"

"No it isn't!"

"It is in Britain!"

"It isn't in China! And we invented it!"

"Well, we're in Canada. Which the British invented."

p.p.s. my other (British) colleague asked if I'll be drinking from a bucket next year.