For my Swedish friends

This popped up on the Scotland Introducing podcast from the BBC... 

I'm sorry, but I laughed.

Wardrobe dysfunction

So, yesterday:

• I got up and changed (#1) into the jeans and sweater I'd been wearing the night before.
  
• After breakfast I assessed the road conditions, decided that cycling was an option, and changed (#2) into my cycling gear.
  
• I got to work, showered, and changed (#3) into my work clothes.
  
• After work, I changed (#4) back into my cycling clothes, and biked to the pool.
  
• I changed (#5) into my attractive swimming costume, swimming cap and goggles* combo.
  
• After a decent work out and a brief rinse off, I put my wet stuff back in a plastic bag*, changed (#6) back into my bike gear, and rode home.
  
• I then had a proper shower and changed (#7) back into jeans and a t-shirt.
  
• At bed time I changed (#8) into my sleeping t-shirt.
  

Changing my clothes eight times in one day seems a little excessive. And it is, even for me; my weekday average is probably five or six times. Other than not showering / sleeping in my cycling gear / changing straight into my cycling gear in the morning (not ideal because I usually have MacTavish and/or at least one kitty on my lap during breakfast, and the lycra is too slippery), I don't think there's any way to improve the situation.

But hey, it's not too annoying, really. Except for when I'm a bit dopey in the morning and don't quite assemble my work outfit properly before stuffing it in my bag. Recent infractions include:

• Forgetting to take my fleece jacket back to work after washing it (it usually lives on my office chair), and then having the option of wearing either no jacket or a (not very warm) fluorescent orange cycling jacket with attractive reflective strips to the coffee house on a sub-zero winter's day.
  
• Only having a black bra to go under a somewhat see-through white shirt.
  
• Black pants, brown boots (or vice versa).
  
• Brown boots, no socks.
  
• Cords and boots combo that made me go "swoosh-click" with every step, making people turn round and stare. Honestly, I have a hard enough time matching my clothes visually, if I have to start matching them acoustically as well, I'm screwed.

Proper grown-ups with normal lives, who get dressed for work at home and then commute by car or transit, don't have these problems. But when my commute will soon transition from views of snowy mountains to warmer rides through tunnels of cherry blossom, I think I can put up with a few infractions and a visit or two from the fashion police.

----------------

*Yay! I learned my lesson from last week. Now to keep up the good work.

Podcath

Thanks to a bit of a kick in the pants useful advice from Professor in Training, I've recently discovered the wonderful world of podcasting. (Late adopter, moi?). So I thought I'd share my discoveries, and open up the comments to suggestions of further subscriptions!

The first thing I discovered is that I simply can't listen to spoken word podcasts while doing, well, anything, really. The second I start typing, or reading something interesting, or even thinking too hard, I just stop listening in any detail. This inevitably results in the episode ending, or the studio audience howling with laughter, and me having to go back to the beginning to work out what was said. I need to listen to these podcasts when I'm doing something that requires minimal concentration - cooking works, as does taking the bus (although that's the only thing it's good for). I've just bought one of those waist strap pack thingies for my iPhone / keys etc., so I'll try listening while exercising too. I imagine that circuit training will be OK for spoken word, while cardio will require music. We'll see...

Current spoken word podcasts:

• Friday night comedy from BBC Radio 4 (I grew up listening to this stuff, it's hilarious)
• Nature (I tried Science and New Scientist too, but there's a limit to how much science I can take on top of work and my print New Scientist subscription, so I chose the only science podcast that features British accents)
• Ricky Gervais (really just short advertisements for his audiobooks - which also need my full attention when listening - but still very funny)
• Stephen Fry's Podgrams (wonderfully rich and fruity)
  

I tried CBC radio's comedy podcast too, but it is unfortunately just as lame as most CBC humour (Rick Mercer excepted, obviously. Where's your podcast, eh, Rick?). It's like Little Mosque on the Prairie - I wanted to like it as it's such a great concept and the mix of characters seemed so promising. But the set-up to the jokes is so obvious, in true Prairie fashion you can see the punchlines approaching from miles away. Give me CTV's Corner Gas instead, any day of the week.

Music is a whole different story. I'm happy to listen to music any time, anywhere, and I can listen to most music while blogging or actually getting on with my work. In fact, I often work best with music on.

As I've said before, I tend to rely on friends to introduce me to new music - I don't listen to much radio in Vancouver, as you don't get the mixed genre stations that you find in the UK. Everything is either pure rock OR pure country OR pure urban OR pure pop, which gets a bit boring. But now, podcasts are introducing me to more new artists than I can keep up with! I have to be able to pay just enough attention to jot down the name of each new artist as they're announced, and then erase it if I end up not liking the song. I've finally found a good use for the little purse-sized notebook I got in my stocking at Christmas, and I'm accumulating quite a list. The only grumble I have is that the BBC doesn't make all of its music podcasts available to people outside the UK - so while I can listen to various "Introducing" podcasts that feature unsigned indie bands who I can't find on iTunes, I'm missing some good podcasts of newly signed indie bands, and most other genres are completely blocked overseas. C'mon, BBC! Sort it out, eh?

Current music podcasts:

• Canada Live from CBC Radio 2 (this is the best of the bunch - live performances from around the country, featuring different genres every week. I've heard everything from hip-hop to traditional Celtic fiddle music. The first one I listened to featured a guy named Rob Lutes - I finished listening and went straight to iTunes to purchase all four of his albums, and even signed up to his Facebook group in the hope of hearing news about a West coast tour).
• Radio 1 Introducing
• Tom Robinson Introducing
• Scotland Introducing (all BBC, all unsigned artists only)

Any other suggestions?

-----------------
p.s. yes, I changed the template. All the cool kids are doing it, and I thought MacTavish deserved something a wee bit more sophistimacated. I've been thinking for a while that the old green colour clashed with the orange sky in the header photo, so this was a good incentive to actually do something about it...

p.p.s. does anyone else have problems with formatting bullet points in Blogger? Also, it really, really, really, needs an "undo" button.

The BBC on Obama's visit to Canada

(From before the actual event)

"Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a Conservative who leads a minority government, and it would be fair to say that he has avoided the temptations of charisma in doing so.

[...]*

The contrast with the new American president could hardly be greater."

Ha!

Hahahahaha!

That's awesome.

Go read, it's full of lots of good stuff about trade, the environment, Afghanistan, etc.

*I just deleted a subheading, I'm not doing a Creationist-style quote mine that completely changes the context and meaning of the quote.

Dear Mr Norovirus,

OK, so you ruined Christmas Day. Rather than eating delicious turkey and socialising with the neighbours, I spent the day alternating between throwing up and shivering under a duvet with a hot water bottle.

I think we can call that Round One to you.

And I know what you were thinking when I woke up to the sound of our house guest* throwing up at 3 am last weekend, because I was thinking the same thing:

"Hmm, that must be the same thing his kid had a few days ago. Infectious, then. Oh bloody hell, it's my old friend Mr Norovirus. Let me see, person with highly infectious virus throwing up repeatedly in our one and only bathroom. Aerosols, all surfaces will be infected... oh, and I bet that's the same noise that woke me up half an hour ago, so I was in there immediately after him without realising. I washed my hands, but then I used the towel and touched the door handle. 24-48 hour incubation period, hmm, it's my birthday on Monday, I guess I'll be spending that the same way as Christmas. Oh, fuck, citizenship test on Tuesday, if I miss that it'll set me back by months. And even if by some miracle I'm not already infected, he'll still be infectious for at least another three or four days... which, if I'm not careful, would see me getting sick on Saturday, big birthday dinner... this is gonna SUCK."

But! Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME. I've learned a few things since our last encounter:

• I boiled my toothbrush for 10 minutes before using it. And I brushed my teeth in the kitchen for a whole week.
  
• I threw out my contact lenses a few days early, and switched to a new case when I opened the new pair of lenses.
  
• I've washed my hands so often and so well, my skin is cracked and painful despite all the lotion.
  
• I abandoned all environmental principles and bought some bleach spray. I've sprayed it on all hard surfaces in the bathroom at regular intervals for a week.

WE CAN'T GET FOOLED AGAIN!

As of today - eight days after that dark, dark night - I am symptom free. 

Round Two to me.

Infect THAT, mo fo.

Yeah, OK, so the CDC says that "some people" are infectious for up to three weeks after symptoms stop. Too bad it doesn't say which people... So FYI I will not be dropping my guard any time soon. 

But even if you DO make me sick some time this month, the joke will be on YOU, because I enjoyed my birthday AND my birthday dinner AND I took my citizenship test on schedule. So while I will curse your name from my battle station in the bathroom, victory will still me mine. Mwa ha ha ha!

You are a worthy adversary. And I'm sure we will meet again.  I will be forewarned, forearmed, and ready to kick your butt.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to write a letter of complaint to Mr Sangria. His behaviour last night was really quite appalling.

------------

*Friend of Mr E Man's, staying with us indefinitely while he navigates his way through a particularly vicious divorce. And that is all I have to say about that.

Things you should take with you when you go swimming

• Swimming costume (British vocabulary for Kyrsten's benefit)
  
• Towel
  
• Plastic bag to put wet stuff in
  
• Hair tie and/or swimming cap
  
• Contact lens case & solution and/or goggles
  
• Change for the locker

Of the above eight items, I managed to remember three last night. And one of those was by accident.

Oh well, it's a start...

Read this headline

(This one)

and see if you agree that using a different word would have avoided a rather unfortunate word juxtaposition.

Yeah... at first glance, I was thinking more "OMG, carnage in the neonate unit" than "nice good-news story".

--------------
Update, Feb 25th: the federal government just legislated more protection for these killers murderers orcs beautiful endangered animals.

Mumspeak: like lolspeak, only weirder

(Background: I had my citizenship test on Tuesday morning. More on that later. But for now, just enjoy these emails!)

From: Mum
Monday morning

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!

good luck for tomorrow.

lol Mum and Dad xxxxxx

From: Me
Monday afternoon

Thank you!

(Did you know that LOL means "laughing out loud"? I am assuming (hoping?) that you thought it meant "lots of love")

From: Mum
Tuesday morning

In MUMSPEAK lol = lots of love. Henceforth, to avoid confusion , I shall sign off ool = oodles of love !!!!

[neighbour] said that on facebook, you said that the exam was easy. I hope that's the case.
ool Mum xxx

From: Me
Tuesday evening

LOL

----------------------
Oh well, at least she's actually using email now.

I shall have to have words with their neighbour though, who friended me on Facebook last week... she seems to be telling my parents about all of my status updates, judging by this and other emails and phone calls!

Meet MacTavish

New morning ritual chez moi:

It's very meta to post a photo of the draft version of this post

Yep, turns out the iPhone is a pretty powerful gateway drug. I'd already pretty much decided to get a Mac "at some point" (thanks all for your input!), but I was waiting for a freelancing/overtime (it's complicated) cheque to come in first. Mr E Man knew all this... so when he came back from a shopping trip on Sunday and shouted "babe, do you mind if I give you your present early, and not wrapped?", I didn't expect him to thrust a MacBook into my hands! But he did... and I promptly announced that he could go and watch the hockey by himself, I was staying in to play with my new toy.

I've already had all sorts of fun with the trackpad and familiar programmes (internet, iTunes etc). I've got my free 30 day trial version of iWork to play with, plus iPhoto and all that good stuff, so I'll watch all the tutorial videos over the weekend. Apparently the store where Mr E Man bought the Mac has a seminar for new Mac users on Saturday, which I should probably go to!

Expect lots of confused and/or excited posts/Facebook updates as I explore the new system...

Oh, and the name? When my younger sister was little, my Dad called her Tadger - Geordie dialect for young child / toddler. When we went on holiday to Scotland, he renamed her Tadger MacTavish. In France she was La Tadge, in Ireland she was Molly O'Tadge... that's my Dad for you. But one name just stuck, and even though she's now 30, my parents still ask me if I've talked to Tadger MacTavish recently. My sister has always been much cooler than me, so MacTavish seemed like a very apt name for my new toy.

Return to Wonderland?

ScienceGirl (from Curiosity Killed the Cat) was kind enough to give me an Inspiration Award.


Thank you, ScienceGirl!

I do have to say though, that I am increasingly unsure of what to do with these things. I hate to sound in any way ungrateful, because it's always a warm and fuzzy moment when a fellow blogger thinks of me for an award.

So what's my problem?

Well, there are just so many of them that come around... and they all want you to pass on the award to 5, or 7, or 9, other bloggers... so do you continue to award them to your genuine favourites, or do you think "well, I didn't include so-and-so last time, so she can have one this time"? Doesn't that just devalue the whole concept?

So, I am going to bend the rules a little bit, and pass on this award to one blogger, and one blogger only.

I found her blog through a carnival, when I was excited to find a fellow virology geek and promptly clicked through to the original post. Then I read some more posts... and some more... and then the entire archives... and discovered not only a fantastic blog and an awesome blogger, but a fabulous community of commenters that I promptly joined. And who followed me home to my own blog.

That one click was the start of my journey through the looking glass and into the community to which I now belong. I'm going to repeat something I said in a recent comment thread, in case any of you missed it:

"I just want to say how much I value the little community that's built up on this blog. When I first started to read blogs, I always preferred the ones where the commenters seemed to know each other, and talked amongst themselves, not just to the blogger. We seem to be getting there! Thank you all, and keep up the good work ;)"

So thank you, Mad Hatter, for introducing me to the original group of commenters who still drop in here and elsewhere!

And now, the cunning plan... Dude, I miss your blog! It makes me so sad to see it languishing at the bottom of my "most recent posts first" blog roll. And I am not the only one! So please, if you possibly can, pull off the dust cloths and polish the cups and saucers, it's time to restart the tea party!

---------------------
If you agree, and you want Mad Hatter to start blogging again, leave her a comment on this thread... an avalanche of begging, pleading comments can only help! I see some of you have already started - good work!

e-Ps and Qs

I'm a very polite person. As a Brit in Canada, I frequently apologise to people who stand on my foot on the bus; it's a habit I just can't seem to break.

As everyone knows though, email etiquette is a different, and very complicated, phenomenon.

Each week I send many, many email requests for information and documents. I am always polite, respectful of peoples' time (unless the deadline is approaching with frightening speed), and explain exactly what I'm looking for, why I need it, and when I need it by.

I also receive many messages of this kind, from local and off-site collaborators and their assistants. Some are more polite, respectful and self-explanatory than others.

There are two common sign-offs on this kind of message. Both mean the same thing - "I really need this so you'd better send it ASAP". The one I use myself is different to the one that I most commonly receive.

I'm not going to tell you which is which, but which of the following do you find the least annoying?

1) "Please and thank you"

2) "Thank you in advance"

Are there any other variants out there?

Very Important Submission update

It has been submitted!

This was a Very Important accomplishment.

Luckily I don't seem to be in any trouble (working until 8.30 pm on Monday to get the files uploaded seemed to help).

Conversations with my boss went as follows (with some paraphrasing):

Monday morning:

(Boss comes out of his office chatting to colleague about Very Important Submission)

Boss: "...so we'll just adjust that last figure, and upload the files. Then we can all come and watch Cath hit the "Submit" button - for the SECOND time."
Me: (facepalm)
Boss and colleague: (snigger snigger)

Monday afternoon:

(Boss hands me a USB key with the final files on it)

Boss: "Please can you upload these files? I'll approve and submit"
Me: "Oh, good, because I'm too scared to touch the damn thing again"
(Boss laughs)
Me: "I'm really sorry about the whole thing, I was completely freaking out when it happened"
Boss: "Yeah, you freaked me out too. But it all worked out"
Me: "Yeah... I printed this poster off the BBC website on Wednesday"
Boss: "I think I need one of those too"

Thank you everybody for your (mostly) supportive comments!!!

And, for no particular reason other than "doesn't this look a bit like the Union flag?", here's a photo of some melting snow on my friend's truck yesterday. With added essence of finger at the top.

Get angry for the right reasons

This is my contribution to the February APLS carnival. This month's host, The Purloined Letter from the Green Phone Booth blog, has chosen a wide-ranging topic under the title "A Carnival of Nature". I have chosen to focus on the following part:

"How has your experience with the natural world shaped your own environmentalism? Is love of the natural world an essential motivation for sustainability?"

To participate in February's carnival, please submit your posts to aplscarnival (at) gmail (dot) com by February 13.

------------------------------------

The International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW) runs a high-profile advertising campaign that focuses on the annual seal hunt in Atlantic Canada. A series of very thought-provoking posters regularly appears on our local bus stops:

(Photo credit)

It was this kind of campaign that drew me into the environmental movement as a child. Raised on a diet of James Herriot and David Attenborough, I loved all things furry, feathery and blubbery. Before the 80s pop stars took over, my room was covered in posters of birds and beasts. On one of our regular Sunday family hikes on the North Yorkshire Moors, a glimpse of a falcon or a fox would make my entire week. And I would literally cry at images of whales and dolphins being slaughtered in Antarctica.

I joined the RSPCA when I was about eight, and Greenpeace when I was ten. I read all their newsletters avidly, and joined in their letter-writing campaigns. I had a Greenpeace t-shirt with a diving whale's tail on it, and a sweatshirt with a picture of the Rainbow Warrior, and proudly wore the latter on a trip to France. For a time, I even wanted to grow up to be one of the Zodiak heroes who interfere with the hunt.

I've never lost this passion for the natural world. I love to get out into the mountains or onto the ocean and submerge myself in the sights, sounds and smells of the wild. The sight of an eagle or seal from a kayak is still a visceral thrill, and I was delighted to see a coyote in Whistler on Sunday. (The family of raccoons who constantly try to get into my roof can bugger right off though, I don't care how cute they are).

Other things have changed though.

I've become much more aware of the importance of an animal's habitat and ecosystem. The glamorous, photogenic species are just the tip of the iceberg - we can't save the whales while ignoring the plankton. Systemic changes such as the warming of the air and acidification of the oceans are a threat at all levels. And, while I would have been cheering him along when I was a kid, who is multi-billionaire Paul McCartney to jet in to Newfoundland, telling people on welfare that they should give up their main source of income for the year? Yeah, that's great in an ideal world, but it ain't the solution in this one.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no fan of the seal hunt. And conservation efforts that focus on one superstar species do benefit the entire ecosystem; how much habitat has been preserved in Asia due to sanctuaries set up to protect pandas, or tigers?

But I think the true battle lies elsewhere.

The kind of poster that would really attract me these days might read as follows:

The entire planet is in crisis
And you're worrying about a few seals
Get angry for the right reasons

(Cath presses "Publish" and waits to be flamed by animal rights activists. For the record, I'm sure the people who use cute cuddly critters as a call to arms are fully aware of the bigger picture. And I still think the Greenpeace dudes on zodiaks are heroes).

VWXYNot?: surprisingly, not quite as neurotic as some other blogs

I held off doing the personality tests that have been doing the rounds, mostly because I was worried that I would have an embarrassingly high neuroticism score (I am actually not kidding* - I am constantly doing battle against my stress-monkey, sweating-the-small-stuff tendencies).

But! It actually wasn't all that scary in the end.

Here are my results from the Personality Patterns test I saw at Ambivalent Academic:

Events of this week might argue against the "competent" tag, but everything else seems reasonably accurate. People who know me in real life are welcome to disagree.

And here are my results from the Personality and Blogging test that I saw just about everywhere:

Neuroticism
Neuroticism (sometimes also called Emotional Instability) is the tendency to experience negative emotions such as sadness or anxiety. People who score high on neuroticism are vulnerable to stress and tend to experience negative feelings more often. People who score low in neuroticism tend to be less susceptible to stress, and experience negative feelings relatively infrequently.

You scored 28 out of 50. This score is higher than 59.6% of people who have taken this test.

Sweet! I am not the biggest stress monkey in the blogosphere. If this was measuring just anxiety, rather than sadness AND anxiety, I would have scored higher though - I am usually a pretty cheerful stress monkey.

Extraversion
Extraversion (or Extroversion) is the tendency to experience positive emotions and seek out stimulating situations. People who score high on extraversion tend to be active, energetic, and enjoy being around other people. In contrast, people who score low on extraversion, known as introverts, tend to be quiet, low-key, and are typically less involved in the social world.

You scored 40 out of 50. This score is higher than 81.7% of people who have taken this test.

Yay! Let's go to the pub and celebrate! Ooh, hey, did I tell you that story about the time I went to the pub and something funny happened?

Yeah, I talk a lot... and I especially like telling stories... no-one is going to be surprised about this score. Although I do need some alone-time each week to preserve my sanity.

Openness to experience
Openness to experience is a general tendency to appreciate emotion, adventure, and unusual ideas or experiences. People who are open to experience are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. People with low scores on openness tend to have more conventional, traditional interests.

You scored 43 out of 50. This score is higher than 60.9% of people who have taken this test.

I refuse to do the following though: rock climbing, bungee jumping, sky diving (well maybe a tandem), whitewater kayaking, downhill mountain biking, ski terrain parks.

Conscientiousness
Conscientiousness is the tendency to show self-discipline and persistence. People who score high on conscientiousness tend to be persistent, responsible, and duty-driven, but are sometimes perceived as being overly perfectionistic and concerned with order. Individuals low on conscientiousness tend to show less persistence and may have trouble seeing things through.

You scored 32 out of 50. This score is higher than 35.8% of people who have taken this test.

ROTFLMAO

I have never, ever, missed a deadline. I have also never, ever, missed an opportunity to procrastinate. I even procrastinate about things I like doing. So, self discipline? Can I say "work in progress?"

Agreeableness
Agreeableness is the tendency to be sympathetic and cooperative towards others. People who score high on agreeableness strive for social harmony and value getting along with others. Disagreeable people tend to be more suspicious and hostile towards others.

You scored 43 out of 50. This score is higher than 86.8% of people who have taken this test.

No surprise - I hate conflict and confrontation more than almost anything, it makes me feel physically ill. (Even online, on occasion, if I'm heavily involved). Luckily though it doesn't happen to me very often. So I can get on with trying to keep people happy at almost any cost. Actually that didn't sound very good, did it? Let's hope I don't go postal one day. (Joke, please don't send the Mounties round).

Right, that's all for now, one more hour of work and then I'm off to Whistler. Keep an eye out for me on the webcams! Black pants, black and white jacket, oh actually don't bother.

--------------------------
*although a former colleague was when he told me that he wanted to do an assertiveness training course, but was too scared to ask the boss for the time off.

Don't panic!

After starting to recover from this week's shenanigans, I spotted this sign on the BBC website and I knew what I had to do.

Yup, it was promptly printed, cropped, and stuck on my wall, next to my calendar. I hope it works.

I still don't have the final files for Very Important Submission, by the way.

Every breath you take

PhizzleDizzle, tragic Nickleback fan extraordinaire, tagged me for this meme.

RULES:

a) Put your MP3 player, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle
b) For each question (capitalised), press the next button to get your answer.
c) YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
d) Tag at least 5 people
e) Everyone tagged has to do the same thing (no they don't, actually)
f) Have Fun! (Step f is not required)

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
"I know what I know" (Paul Simon)
I certainly do

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"Señor Matanza" (Mano Negra)
Erm...

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Jenny was a friend of mine" (The Killers)
So I guess I like... my ex-friend Jenny?

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Mean Mr. Mustard" (The Beatles)
Ewww, but he's a pervert

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Bar Italia" (Pulp)
So... to buy coffees for hungover people in Soho?

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
"The new pollution" (Beck)
I didn't say it was a very good motto

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Be somebody" (Kings of Leon)
That's not very nice of them, eh? Don't they know I already am somebody?

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Old-fashioned love" (Dick Hyman Group feat. Howard Alden)
Icky

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Little acorns" (The White Stripes)
Be like the squirrel! Be like the squirrel! Mwa ha ha ha, I'm quite mad you know

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
"Until the lion learns to speak" (K'naan)
...I will not answer that question on his behalf

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Let it be" (The Beatles)
My BFF is way more grown-up and sorted than I am, so, yeah, if it ain't broke...

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"A Wrong Turn" (Les Finnigan, local guitarist)
I sincerely hope not!

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Uncle Jonny" (The Killers)
no no no NO. I don't even have an Uncle Jonny, but this is just wrong.

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Heard 'em say" (Kanye West feat. Adam Levine)
Actually he probably thinks "heard her say... and say... and say... does she ever shut up?"

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Fake plastic trees" (Radiohead)
We didn't, actually, although I really like the song

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"The touch of your lips" (Chet Baker)
Ewwww, again

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Help the aged" (Pulp)
LOL I have totally been thinking about finding a local senior centre or something to volunteer at. Seriously. I like old people, they have the best stories.

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Paranoid android" (Kirsty Rock cover of the Radiohead song)
Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh Marvin, noooooooooooooo! Put the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster down!

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Pull this blanket off" (The Raconteurs)
I swear I am not really a pervert

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
"The love song" (K-OS)
Oh my

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Verbal anime" (The Herbaliser feat. Rakaa Iriscience)
I don't even know what that's supposed to mean

22. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Every breath you take" (The Police)
The anthem of stalkers everywhere

I tag: anyone who has any of these songs on their iPod (or equivalent).

Cath's Nine Stages of Fucking Up at Work

This is a faithful and accurate account of my internal monologue during the last 24 hours or so. It contains lots of foul language. All of it is justified.

1) Pride (as in, before a fall)

Tra la la, my boss has gone away and left me in charge of Very Important Submission. I am soooo important.

I don't have all the files yet, but I can upload what I do have and make sure it looks OK.

That's weird. Why is Massive Sciencey Organisation's website saying "Thank you for your submission?" I hadn't finished, why would it think I'd submitted?

2) Shock

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Ohmygod what have I done? And how does the back of my neck get so hot, so quickly, when I realise I've fucked something up?

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

3) Denial

Quick, hurry, quick quick, click on the other open tab in my browser. Ooooooh, look, Google Reader! Maybe if I read a blog post or two, the scary message in the other tab will go away.

"Sign Win!" - heh heh, that's pretty damn funny.

OK, let's check to see if that worked.

4) Shock

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

And ohmygod, it's sent a submission receipt message to my boss. I'm gonna have to email him and tell him what I did.

I seriously think I might vomit.

Noooooooooooooooooooooo and one more FUCK

5) Bargaining

OK. I'm going to email the help desk (after regular office hours, so no calling) and explain. Hopefully they can reset the application. I'll also email my boss. If I accept full responsibility*, apologise, and grovel, then he can't fire me.

Right?

And if I go home and make a lovely dinner for my husband and his friend, then I'll forget all about it and have a good night's sleep.

Right?

Right.

6) Shock

Tra la la, it's a bright and sunny morning, everything will be OK, especially if I have some caffeine to offset the lack of sleep. Better check my email first though, to see if the help desk people have replied.

OHMYFUCKINGGOD THEY CAN'T RESET IT.

7) Chocolate

Quick, escape to the friendly local coffee shop; I need some anti-stress therapy in the traditional Trauma Cookie format. Oh, but look, a bar of organic, fair trade, chili & spice chocolate from Cocoa Camino, right next to the till. Mmmmmmmmmmm, ethilicious.

8) Bargaining

OK, we have an email from Massive Sciencey Organisation, saying that our submission is incomplete.

Thank you, I wouldn't have noticed otherwise.

If I return the email, grovel, apologise, and stress that the mistake was not the fault of any of the scientists named on the project, all will be well.

Right?

9) Acceptance

They say we can start our submission again from scratch. No long-term harm done - I hope.

BTW I still don't have all the required files, so I am no longer the one who is holding up the submission. No, I am a completely innocent party, my friends.

Maybe there's still some denial going on.

Maybe more chocolate might help.

Hey, maybe this would make a good blog post.

--------------------------
*the online submission system may have contributed. Possibly. Don't quote me on that, though.

Cath's shoe of the week

You can keep your Randy Macaques or whatever they're called, this was the only shoe (or shoe combo, really) for me today:

My trusty 11 year-old leather hiking boots, and rented snow shoes. Stylin'.

In addition, you can keep your sodding Superbowl, this is the best way to spend a snowy afternoon in Vancouver:

My two lovely friends enjoying similarly awesome footwear at Cypress Mountain while our husbands watched the game, the poor sad fools.