Thursday, 24 December, 2009

Merry Fucking Christmas!

Right, I'm off - just a five hour drive through treacherous snowy mountain passes, and we'll be at my sister-in-law's place for a festive family get-together (six adults, four kids (aged seven, seven, nine and fifteen), and three cats (not ours, they're spending Christmas with our tenant).). There will be good food; lots of wine; drunken games of Cranium, Twister and Beatles Rock Band; and of course skiing. Very little internet though!

I hope all my awesome readers have a wonderful Christmas and New Year, or other holidays as applicable. Here's my all-time favourite Christmas song, especially for you.



And here's another contender. WARNING: this one is from South Park, and is offensive to, well, pretty much everyone. Watch at your own risk!



Merry Fucking Christmas, everyone! See you in 2010!

Tuesday, 22 December, 2009

Competition updates

I can hardly believe this, but I won the Nature Network poll for best blog post in 2008!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Thank you to everyone who went over and voted for me!

Since I'm so awesome, I've come up with the following "trophy" for the First Annual VWXYNot? Readers' Choice Comment of the Year Award! I just know that whoever wins is going to be delighted to display a photo of me on their blog.


Microbiologist XX and Ruchi have both upped the ante with posts encouraging their regular readers to vote, while current poll leader Massimo is taking the high road... at least for now. Nine days left, so if you haven't already voted, you know what to do!

"But the thing you don't realize is that there's good naked and bad naked"

I came home from work last night to find Mr E Man watching one of those survival shows on the Discovery Channel. Some testosterony chap was striding around the Namibian desert killing snakes and being condescending in a way that reminded me of my ex-boyfriend ("not a lot of people know this, but..." and "you might think [X], but you'd be wrong").

But the really weird part came when the show restarted after a commercial break. One of those parental warnings came on screen, and a very deep and serious voice announced that "this show contains scenes of indigenous nudity".

Indigenous nudity?

As opposed to regular nudity?

Indeed, the next segment featured Condescending Man killing a porcupine with a group of indigenous people. There were bums (as in butts, if you're North American) and boobs on display.

But...

But but but...

Is this supposed to be different to Western nudity? Like, is it supposed to be "better" (i.e. less corrupting to children) to see an African hunter-gatherer's bum or boob than a bare bum on the street in Toronto, or a boob on stage at the Superbowl half-time show? If so, why? Because "they're savages and don't know any better?" There was something about the whole show that got my back up (maybe the similarity to my ex-boyfriend, duh), which might be making me infer more from the parental warning than was actually there.

But c'mon, people. A bum is a bum and a boob is a boob.

And neither is inherently corrupting to children.

Monday, 21 December, 2009

Hockey pool: week 12

The "holy crap, look at Chall go!" edition.


Well done Chall, and That Damn Alyssa, who had another good week. ScientistMother, you and I need to represent the West Coast a bit better than we've been managing lately!

I'd like to point out that if Burrows' goal last night had been allowed LIKE IT TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN (I was at the game, so I know), I would have had another two points for sure, plus the Canucks would totally have gone on to score more goals and get a win for Luongo, and I'd be feeling a lot happier about having to update the pool today.

Ah well. Happy Solstice, everyone!

LOLs from my father

My Dad's always a good source of entertainment, but he's really outdone himself this week. I don't know if it's the Christmas spirit or some other kind of spirit, but his emails and phone calls have been full of gems recently...

---------------------


"We went to [Mum's former school] Carol Service at the Minster last night. It was excellent:


Girl 1 (Narrator) - "And Mary was sorely troubled"
Girl 2 (Mary) - "I am sorely troubled"
Boy (Gabriel) - "Do not be troubled"



No-one else seemed to think it was a comedy"


---------------------


"Canadian politics has been very boring lately, you lot haven't had an election in months. What happened? Did you decide you like that bastard, what's his name, your useless prime minister, after all?"


---------------------


Dad: "Where's that bastard you live with? I have an ice hockey question for him"
Me: "Hang on, I'll get him"
Dad: "Hello, colonial bastard!"
Mr E Man: "Hello, imperialist bastard!"
Dad: "Right, so I saw five minutes of ice hockey highlights on the news yesterday and I have a question. What, exactly, is the strategic advantage of taking your gloves off and repeatedly punching the other team's player in the helmet?"
Mr E Man: "There's really no good explanation for that kind of behaviour"
Dad: "They had sticks, and there was some kind of black thing on the ice. I hear they use those things in between fights, is this true?"


---------------------


"It's our turn to run the pub quiz next month. Here's a question for you: which Championship team is top of the league despite being full of useless overpaid wankers? 


There'll be a bonus point if anyone can explain how this is happening. No-one will win the bonus point".


---------------------


"Stop playing the science card! It's not fair when you know things that we don't and use them to win arguments!"


---------------------

"Now, Catherine, tell the truth. Are you, or are you not, sleeping with Tiger Woods?"

Saturday, 19 December, 2009

Cuba: Chan Chan and other songs

This is the song "Chan Chan", from the Buena Vista Social Club album.



It's good, eh?

This is just as well, because we heard it an average of twice a day on our two week trip.

The music was one of the things I was most looking forward to before we flew to Cuba, and I was not disappointed. Music was everywhere - you couldn't step into a cafe, bar, museum, rest stop or onto a beach without there being at least one live band.

And almost every single one - literally, every band we saw except for maybe four - played Chan Chan.

They each had their own version, of course, and different instrumentation, ranging from the standard guitar + mini guitar + drums to full seven piece bands with a stand up bass and a trumpet. And Chan Chan was the only song that they all had in common - we heard a wide variety of other songs from a multitude of genres, from rock to salsa to rumba to jazz. The quality of the musicianship was outstanding - even when the genre wasn't really what I wanted to hear (e.g. the band at a rooftop bar overlooking the Caribbean, who played covers of old-school Western rock songs), the musicians were wonderful.


It would have been nice to enjoy this Caribbean sunset to the sound of Cuban jazz, rather than "Back in the USSR".


Well, with one exception.

The music scene in Cienfuegos was not exactly hopping on a Sunday or Monday night, but we did manage to find one bar with a stage and speakers set up.  We grabbed a table and some mojitos, and waited expectantly.

The first people onto the stage were dancers. Four women, two in dresses and two dressed as male matadors, painted-on mustaches and all. Some pop music started to blare from the speakers, and they began their dance.

Now, I'm no dance expert. But to my eye, the four dancers were reasonably competent - as individuals. But their coordination with each other? Off by miles.

As the music switched to a flamenco pastiche featuring a drum machine and synth, the dancers effected a hasty costume change into flamenco dresses (the mustaches remained intact), and were suddenly joined by a singer.

He wore a garish purple tracksuit, and had a mullet.

What he lacked in musical talent (and that was a lot), he made up for in showmanship. Grand sweeping arm movements aplenty were proffered to the adoring crowd of his friends and family at the front, and at the climax of the first song, he sank to his knees as he belted out the final words like a drunken Glaswegian at karaoke.

Our new German friend turned to us and said, "we have come to the most musical country in the world. But we have found the worst musician in Cuba".

Mullet Man aside, though, the music was the thing I missed the most when we came back home to rainy grey Vancouver. On my first day back at work, I went to my favourite sandwich shop, and was quite perturbed when there was no band to serenade me.

Luckily, we came back home with several new CDs in our luggage. Every band sells their own discs, and we traded CDs for either cash or the packs of guitar strings we'd taken with us (a tip from a friend who's a musician and had visited Cuba before). Strings being hard to come by in Cuba, this went down very well indeed. One musician in Trinidad, a troubador named Israel Moreno, asked Mr E Man if he'd brought the strings because he played guitar himself. "No, but my wife does", replied that traitor. So Israel handed me his beaten up guitar, with rusty strings and every fret scooped out by years of playing, and asked me to play.

Like, in front of people!

I did very, very badly.

Mr E Man was very, very amused. (And got in lots of trouble, I can assure you).



Israel Moreno and the guitar I tried to play. He was very encouraging and said I just need to practice more. I agree.

But I came back with more than CDs. My experience in Cuba has inspired to pick up my poor neglected guitar much more often than I have in the last couple of years.

Guitar strings: $9.99 a set.
Tips: 1 Convertible Peso per band
Inspiration: priceless.

Cuba: Trinidad

Trinidad is a town on the South coast of Cuba, a couple of hours by bus from Cienfuegos. Our new German and Israeli buddies from the El Nicho trip were on the same bus, which made it even more fun than usual as we passed donkey carts and classic cars, seeing glimpses of the blue Caribbean through the hills.

The bus creaked and groaned as it pulled into town, barely squeezing through the narrow cobbled streets. We were met at the bus station by the Casa Particular owners, and followed them to another gorgeous high ceilinged old house, with antique telescopes and barometers in the main room and a beautiful inner courtyard with an old well and lots of shady plants. Our room was just off the courtyard, and (hooray!) had a reasonably comfortable bed - although our attempts at sleeping were interrupted by one very loud and persistent cricket!



We set off immediately to explore this beautiful town. Another UNESCO world heritage site, it was simply gorgeous. We wandered the back streets for a while, getting brief glimpses into some of the homes, and even finding a woodwork shop. Mr E Man spent a very happy half hour comparing techniques with his fellow carpenters in a mixture of Spanglish and hand gestures! Mr E Man has been buying antique carpentry tools from eBay, saying that the quality of the steel for the price is much better than modern tools, and he was just in heaven in this shop. He said he was very impressed with the products they were making with such old-fashioned equipment.



Stopping every so often for a drink in a bar, accompanied by bands invariably playing the best music we heard in Cuba, we gradually made our way around the main sights.





We'd taken some pens, pencils, paper, and other school supplies with us, and went into a primary school on our second day to donate them. The school was pretty basic, and they were very glad to receive some extra supplies, but the kids were great - noisy and energetic, in the good way! Their volleyball court and football field need some work though.



The nightlife in Trinidad was much more happening than in Cienfuegos, and we spent many happy hours in various music venues listening to excellent Cuban jazz, rumba, and an amazing display of Santeria drumming and dancing, outside on the cobbled steps leading up to the church.

The only problem with Trinidad is that it's a small town, where tourism is the only real industry. Unlike industrial Cienfuegos, or the busy capital city of Habana, hustling tourists is the best source of income for a lot of people. We seriously couldn't walk for more than thirty seconds without being offered cigars, or a meal, or rum, or a taxi, or a necklace, or soft currency in exchange for hard. And these people were persistent, unlike in the other cities, where a smile and a "sorry, I don't smoke" or "sorry, we've already had dinner" were enough to discourage your new friend. These guys did not want to take no for an answer - although it was always done with a friendly smile! Even in the museums and art gallery, we were followed around by employees trying to sell us something or other. One walk up a hill to an old ruined church was like running the gauntlet; people asked us for our clothes, our shoes, the address of our Casa so they could come by and get our other clothes from us, all that. We handed out candy to a couple of kids, and suddenly found ourselves swarmed by about twenty of them! We spent about half an hour or so talking to one group of women about what their lives were like and what they needed; thank goodness for Mr E Man being able to speak some Spanish, as he explained that no, we weren't going to give up our shoes, because it would be very very cold when we got back to Canada! He also explained that we'd given supplies to the school, and a laptop to the University*, and we were sympathetic to them, but wanted to keep our clothes... but here, take all the coins we have.

When we talked to the Casa owner, she said that tourism has been both a blessing and a curse. Lots of money now comes into the town - but only to the people who have direct contact with the tourists. The other residents are very envious of their fellow citizens who have access to the tourists and their hard currency, and many people have quit productive and useful jobs as they can make more money selling black market cigars to tourists. She told us "people here need many things". "Food?" asked Mr E Man. "No, we have enough food. People need the things they see that the tourists have, the nice clothes, the nice shoes, the jewelry".

As much as I can understand the impulse to hustle the wealthy foreigners, the constant barrage was exhausting. We escaped back to our Casa's courtyard a few times each day, and on the third day we decided to get out of town and head to the beach 6 km away for a swim in the Caribbean. It was warmer than the Atlantic side, but without the big fun waves to play in. But the change of pace and relaxation were a lovely way to spend our last "proper" day in Cuba, before taking the Saturday bus back to Varadero for an early morning flight on Sunday.




-----------------------
*about four years ago now, our old laptop died. Three years old and completely stone cold dead. A friend gave us $20 for it so he could use it for parts. Then, in September of this year, he gave it back to us, fixed - once inside, he'd discovered the real source of the problem, which was much easier to repair than he'd thought. Of course by then we'd replaced the laptop with a desktop PC and MacTavish, and had no need for the old laptop. So we took it with us to Cuba and gave it to the University opposite the primary school we'd visited. Given that internet connections are thin on the ground in Cuba, it really had to go to someone who already had a connection set up - and we saw someone using a PC in the front office of the University. When we told them we had a gift for them and opened up the bag, we first pulled out the remaining New Scientist magazines we still had, and they started to thank us profusely. When we handed over the laptop... well, it was a good feeling!

Thursday, 17 December, 2009

I wish all meetings could be like my last one

Purpose of meeting: to discuss the format and content of a progress report, due on December 30th.
  • I arrived a few minutes late as the elevators were all messed up and I don't have access to the stairs in that building. BUT I was still the first one there.
  • The next two people to show up were happy to talk about turduckens and Christmas geese instead of project milestones.
  • Then we had a very satisfying argument about the Copenhagen talks.
  • Then the PI showed up and announced that he'd just taken another look at the dates covered by the report, and the dates of all project milestones.
Conclusion of meeting: no report needed
  • So we all sat around and compared holiday plans, and talked about skiing.
  • Then the receptionist gave me some gingerbread on my way out.

Wednesday, 16 December, 2009

Rock the vote!

Just a reminder that votes in the competition only count if they're entered via the actual poll, in the top right sidebar, just under the kayak photo. If you left a comment saying who you were voting for, but didn't click a button on the poll, you haven't voted yet... and I know a few people hadn't made up their minds and said they'd vote later. Don't let holiday distractions make you forget!

Also, everyone should totally vote for my post in The Best Nature Network Blog Posts Ever Poll...Part 2. It had a photo and a statistics pun and everything. And I never make it into those Open Lab collections, so I need to win something, damnit!

Unless of course you're one of the people who's pissed off at not making the final 12 comments, in which case, please feel free to vote for all the other options instead ;)

Tuesday, 15 December, 2009

Actual conversation

Colleague 1: "What are you working on right now?"

Me: "A progress report for Dr. X"

Colleague 2: "I don't think I know Dr. X, what does he look like?"

Me: (Thinks) "Harry Potter"

Colleague 1: "OHMYGODHETOTALLYDOES!!!"

Colleage 2: "Oh, that guy! Yeah, I know who he is!"

Monday, 14 December, 2009

Hockey Pool, Week 11

I made up one measly point on That Damn Alyssa this week.


Whoop-de-doo!

Saturday, 12 December, 2009

First Annual VWXYNot? Readers' Choice Comment of the Year* Award!

It's almost Christmas!

I'm feeling much warmer and fuzzier than normal about the whole thing this year, possibly because I essentially missed Christmas Day last time around (stoopid norovirus).

And what else makes me feel all warm and fuzzy?

My awesome commenters!

Seriously. I love you guys. You're intelligent, insightful, supportive, funny, and sometimes very, very silly.  I'd like to buy you all a present... but sadly that's not possible. So instead, I'd like to introduce the First Annual VWXYNot? Readers' Choice Comment of the Year* Award!

I've gone through my bragging rights archives, made a long list (every single comment), and then a short list, before choosing my 12 all-time favourites. I am really, truly, sorry that I had to leave some awesome comments out, but really, asking you to chose between more than 12 would be a bit silly.

The 12 options are below in full, with links to the relevant post in case a bit of context is required! Please vote using the poll at the top of the right sidebar.

The Rules:

  1. Please vote only once each
  2. Please do not vote for your own comment!
  3. The votes will be tallied on December 31st 
  4. In the event of a tie, I will choose my favourite of the tied comments (I won't vote otherwise)
  5. The winner will be formally announced when I get back from skiing on the 2nd or 3rd of January
  6. Prize: a virtual trophy you can display on your own blog if you so wish (I'm working on this!) AND an item of your choice from Amazon, up to CAD30 in value (not including shipping)

Have fun! And thank you again to everyone who commented this year. You're all awesome.


The Comments (in strictly alphabetical order by name of commenter):

  1. Bob O'H for "I still think that if you've got a hockey pool, you're doing something wrong. Like having the heating on too high."
  2. EcoGeoFemme for "The problem with miracles is that it makes you question all the times when there isn't a miracle."
  3. Eva for "I mostly say "I'm not religious", because I didn't even learn the word "atheist" until I was 15 or so and thought "Oh! It has a NAME!". As a kid I thought I had a religion that was called "public" because I went to "public school" and the "public library"."
  4. Hermitage (1) for "When the 'leader of the superpower of all time leader of the freeworld' can't tie his shoelaces without assistance and a boob grab, it makes everyone look fabulous in comparison. Further justification for charging George Bush with war crimes."
  5. Hermitage (2) for "C'mon, you KNOW some halfwits are still going to wander over and ask you to preform secretarial duties under the pretense that PhD stands for Professional Help Desk."
  6. Massimo for "At least you have never been told "What? Mah-see-moh? Oh, no, that's too difficult for me, I'll call you Moose, how's that..."... "Yes, and I'll call you Dick, how's that ?" (Savannah, GA, circa 1988)".
  7. Mermaid for "when the 'Feed the World' Christmas song came out all those years ago, my mom thought it was 'Feed the Whales' and was awfully confused as to why Christmas should matter to whales."
  8. Microbiologist XX for "I got so distracted by the fact that I had fallen out of a sailboat that I forgot to leave my comment."
  9. Nina for "I think it is not fair of them to ask for French, when Quebecois is a whole different language... I took Science-French with 3 Canadian girls and they spoke something more similar to arabic"
  10. Prof-like Substance for "I love the fact that the British invented Canada. Don't you mean "asked Canada to grow up, get a job and stop living off its parents" in 1931?"
  11. Ricardipus for "You know, if homeopathy worked, you wouldn't have to even open the bottle. Just drink a glass of lake/ocean/river/tap water - it should contain the memory of molecules of every medication ever used.There, cold sorted. ;)"
  12. Ruchi for "I don't understand what is so awesome exactly about being in the presence of God. Intellectually, I understand that it's like being in the presence of Barack Obama only better, but emotionally, I just don't get it. :)"

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*well, the period from October 3rd 2008 to now, because that's how long I've been doing Bragging Rights Central. Next year's award will cover a 12 month period.

Thursday, 10 December, 2009

Day tripper: El Nicho

When we first started planning our trip, Mr E Man did a lot of online research, and picked Baracoa as his first choice destination. However, its location on the far Eastern tip of the island meant that we would have lost too many days to travelling, and we decided to defer the delights of mountains, pine forests, and waterfalls to our next trip instead.

Intent on swimming by a waterfall anyway, Mr E Man then picked El Nicho, near Cienfuegos. As with our trip to Habana, we chose an organised tour - but in this case, it really was the only option as we were repeatedly told that most Cuban cars can't handle the road in, which is winding, steep, and in poor condition. Our brand new, Chinese-built minibus had enough problems, creaking and groaning its way up and down the steep grades. As it turns out though, the tour was great. We chatted to the other people on the bus (a mother and son from Ontario, two guys from Israel, and one German), to our wonderfully smiley guide, and to the musicians we picked up en route (no meal or other experience in Cuba is complete without a live band, and this was no exception).

The drive was amazing. On the bus down from Varadero we'd seen how lush and green the countryside is - and much wilder, less intensively farmed than I'd imagined. But this drive into the mountains was something else, and the driver stopped a few times for photo opportunities.



Upon arriving at El Nicho, our guide led us into the woods on a nature walk. She was an encyclopedic source of knowledge about the local plants and their medicinal uses, and local folklore about the plants and birds we saw. We ate fresh berries from the coffee plants growing wild in the reserve, and heard wondrous stories about the delicious fruit of the mamey tree:

"It is the most delicious fruit in the world. Everybody in Cuba loves it, we are so happy when the mameys ripen. It looks good, it smells good, and it tastes so very, very good. But it is not in season, so you can't have any".

Our new German friend said "do, please, keep telling us how amazing this wonderful fruit is that we can't have", and she waxed lyrical for another minute or two, laughing heartily at our jealous faces!

Luckily, the main attraction of El Nicho soon came into view, taking our minds off delicious forbidden fruit:





 

There's a series of pools, and we lost no time getting into the biggest, bluest, most waterfall-y of the group. Having told several Cubans where we were going, we expected the water to be extremely cold. Everyone had told us how beautiful it was, but said it was "muy frío" even in August, when most Cubans visit. To go in November? You Canadians are crazy! We were warned repeatedly by our hostess Esther and her daughter, and started to take the advice to heart. 

But really? For Canadians? It barely even counted as "refreshing" (well, until you swam under the waterfall). Our German companion agreed with us, but our two new Israeli friends were significantly slower to get in!


 Mr E Man took this photo of me taking a photo of the mother and son from Ontario


Our guide said that for those who can stand the cold (she couldn't get past her ankles), this was actually the best time of year to visit - during the rainy season, and for a few months afterwards, the pools are full of mud, vegetation, and other debris washed down by the rain. But we were treated to beautifully clear water.

 


We went from pool to pool for around an hour, before being summoned for lunch at the reserve's one and only restaurant. We sat in the sunshine and had a delicious meal of pork, potatoes, and salad, to the sound of a band playing that wonderful Cuban music, before getting back into the bus for a picturesque ride back to Cienfuegos. After dinner we met up with the German and Israelis for beers and more music.

The only low point in the whole day was the sorry sight of a female dog in the restaurant, obviously nursing, who was a pathetic mess of skin and bones. Every single one of us in the group took pity on her and fed her large chunks of meat. There was another nursing female too, less skinny than the other but not in good condition. She got some smaller pieces of meat and a couple of potatoes. There was also a happy, healthy, bright-eyed bushy-tailed male, who we thought looked rather pleased with himself.

We didn't give him anything.

Wednesday, 9 December, 2009

Say what?

On Sunday, we had brunch with Mr E Man's oldest brother, plus his (hilarious new) fiancee and two sons. Crammed into a booth in a busy restaurant, the conversation turned to misheard song lyrics, and from there to a story about someone mishearing the word "hamster" as "cancer", with hilarious consequences.

I sat back and waited, with a smug little smile on my lips.

I always win these things.

Yeah, so the hamster story was good, and HNF thought she'd won. But then I played the ace up my sleeve; the story of a misheard question that no-one has yet been able to beat.

The other grad student in my lab in Glasgow was called Mike, but everyone called him Mikey Boy. One day I was walking through our building's main lobby area (reception desk, glass doors, bike racks outside) towards the stairs to the lab area. Our IT guy (who was friends with all the students and postdocs) was standing by the doors, coat on, and looking at his watch. As I approached him, he said something to me.

What he actually said: "If you see that Mikey Boy upstairs, can you tell him to move his fat arse?"

What I heard: "See that bike of yours outside? You can tell it's made for a fat arse"

Can anyone beat that?

Monday, 7 December, 2009

Hockey pool, week 10


Typical!

I have my best ever week, thanks to Team Alex (Burrows* and Edler), and That Damn Alyssa (her official new name) matches me point for point.

Bah Humbug!

----------------

*my favourite Canuck

Sunday, 6 December, 2009

Cuba: Cienfuegos

After checking out of our resort, we headed South to the city of Cienfuegos, on the Caribbean coast. We took the Viazul bus, which turned out to be clean, comfortable, and reasonably cheap. It was a pleasant drive, taking us through some small and completely untouristy towns, through the gorgeous lush green countryside, and giving us a tantalising glimpse of the mountains.

We'd decided to spend our second week staying in Casa Particulares - private homes whose owners have purchased an expensive license and pay a substantial monthly fee in order to rent out rooms to tourists. It's by far the cheapest option, and also gives you the experience of staying with locals (although the homes and lives of the relatively well-off people who can afford to start a Casa operation are almost certainly not typical; the homes marked with the official Casa sign were significantly nicer than others in the same town). We chose a likely option from the (excellent) Lonely Planet guidebook, then shouldered our backpacks, said "no thank you" to all the people who'd met the bus to offer accommodation / dinner / cigars, and walked off toward the old square at the heart of the city.

The owners of the Casa answered the door, and ushered us in to their home. It was gorgeous; the internal rooms opened up onto a balcony looking down into an internal courtyard filled with plants and lounging cats. The owners - Armando and Leonor - poured us a glass each of delicious tropical fruit juice, and told us their philosophy: "friendship between nations begins with friendship between people". They asked where we were from, and told us of their travels around the world (Leonor was a physics professor before she retired). They showed us a short video highlighting the sights of Cienfuegos, and extolled the virtues of Cuba and its free education for its citizens, and citizens of other developing country.

And then they told us that they did not have any vacancies.

They were very apologetic, but someone was coming from Havana with a reservation. Armando told us that he hated to turn people away from his home, but it could not be helped. But not to worry, they would call all the other Casa owners they knew, and arrange something for us. While we were waiting, they gave us some small gifts - a black cat necklace for me, and a Che portrait necklace for Mr E Man. We gave them some of the New Scientist magazines we'd brought in exchange.

About ten minutes later, Leonor's friend Esther appeared to take us to her Casa. Armando shook our hands, and Leonor kissed us both. They told us to come to them if we needed anything while we were in town - any time, for anything at all. We walked past their house a few times in the next couple of days, and saw Leonor out on the balcony overlooking the street. She always called to us by name, asked if we were having a good time, and told us "we love you!"

Communists?

Not so scary, actually.

Anyway.

Off to Esther's place we went, just around the corner. She barely spoke any English, but Mr E Man speaks enough Spanish to (more or less) cover the basics. A tiny lady of 90 years, she barely came up to my chin, and she told us that she'd lived in this house her entire life* and that yes, she had seen a lot of changes. The house was full of faded glory - ornate plaster work, high ceilings, old family photos and degree certificates and an ancient untuned piano. Our room had a crazy spiral staircase up to the roof terrace;



it felt like it might come loose and topple over at any minute, but the view from the terrace was worth it.



Unfortunately, the bed you can see in the top photo turned out to be The Most Uncomfortable Bed In The World. I would be willing to bet good money that the mattress came with the house. After two nights we couldn't take it anymore, and decamped to a hotel for our last night. But Esther and her family were excellent hosts, letting us store our bags there on our last day, and even letting us pay a little late when we ran out of Cuban money and the bank had already closed**. She also called ahead to a friend in the next city on our itinerary, who met us off the bus and took us to her own Casa.

But I'm getting ahead of myself!

Cienfuegos was lovely, but Sunday and Monday were not the best two days to visit. The central plaza was absolutely gorgeous,


Cuba - where the lions play football, and a good mechanic is a God



but its music venues were either quiet or closed. (We did get to see The Worst Musician In CubaTM, but since I'm going to devote a whole post to our musical experiences, I'll save that story for later!) The museums were also closed, so we spent some very pleasant hours strolling the back streets and main streets instead, enjoying the architecture and Caribbean views and sunshine.


From the street...



...and from the roof

There may or may not have been some beer breaks involved.

Overall, this was a very nice introduction to "the real Cuba." But if you go, skip Esther's bed of torture, and try to stay with Armando and Leonor instead!

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*after the revolution, Cubans who owned their own homes were allowed to keep them. Business owners, and foreigners who owned property in Cuba, were not so lucky.


**no ATMs, credit card payments, or other normal features of Western finance here; we took cash (Canadian dollars, you can only get the Cuban Convertible Pesos from within the country) and changed it as and when we needed it. It took a bit of getting used to, I can tell you!

Friday, 4 December, 2009

Book Review: Zombies and Ninjas and Balls, Oh My!

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies", by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

In 2001, or thereabouts, I took a trip from Glasgow down to Oxford to meet up with some high school friends. I was horribly hungover, but luckily the first train I took was relatively quiet. By the time I changed trains in Birmingham, I was feeling a bit better. This was lucky, because the two trains ahead of mine had been cancelled, meaning that three train-loads of pissed-off commuters were crammed into the two carriages. The aisles were packed, and there were even two or three people standing in each bathroom, necessitating much reshuffling of people whenever anyone needed to go. I found myself a seat - cross-legged under a table, with one other traveller - and cracked open my book.

It was "Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason".

I couldn't help myself. I laughed out loud a couple of times, interspersed with loud snorts through my nose. Curious faces appeared under the table, saw what I was reading, and disappeared, laughing and relaying the news to other travellers. One woman two tables down happily proclaimed "I loved that book!"

I haven't had that kind of reaction to a book since. Until, that is, I started to read "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" on the beach in Varadero. I caused several people on neighbouring beach chairs to look over to see what I was reading, and even inspired Mr E Man to pick it up when I'd finished.

The book is a riot. The very simple premise is that this is the familiar P&P story, but set against a background of a plague of "unmentionables" (I love the period language euphemisms) who are infesting the English countryside. All the original elements are there, with large chunks of the original text intact, but the five Bennett sisters have been trained in the deadly arts by Shaolin monks, and Lady Catherine has her own ninjas. ("Wady Caferine very respectable... sensible woman"). Oh, and there are some double entendres from Mr. Darcy that surely would have made Ms. Austen blush fire engine red. I'll even forgive the description of a chipmunk in the English woods (Americans! Honestly).

Marriage is, of course, still the chief object for the young ladies of England, despite the recent unpleasantness. One such lady states, "all I ask is that [...] I be permitted a husband who will see to my proper Christian beheading and burial", and all the original balls, schemes, and other shenanigans are in place (although some of them are interrupted by the untimely demise of the kitchen staff).

The book's kind of gory, but if you can deal with that, then I highly recommend it. The illustrations are also a hoot, and even the Readers' Discussion Guide at the end made me laugh. I've read the original novel many times, and can quote large chunks of the BBC adaptation by heart, and I think this added greatly to my enjoyment of the zombie version. However, Mr E Man has only seen bits and pieces of the BBC adaptation, and found my comparisons to the first Bridget Jones novel more useful in getting the relationships straight in his head. And he still enjoyed this book, and made a few curious heads turn towards his own beach chair. I do think that I appreciated the book more, though!

SPOILER ALERT

(Actually, is it a spoiler if I tell you something that didn't happen? Anyway, read on at your own risk)

My one gripe with the book is that the zombie story was never resolved. Some events that happened on Elizabeth's journeys to and from Charlotte's place, and some other hints, made me think that this narrative thread was building into some kind of climax. I even imagined that there might be a massive battle at the wedding, leaving Jane and Elizabeth as the sole surviving Bennetts, and thus removing any objections that Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley might have about their low connections. But no, the book ended with the plague still unresolved and continuing to bother the good people of England.

Perhaps a sequel is brewing?

Mr E Man and I came up with some ideas:

"Romeo and Juliet and Werewolves"

"War and Peace and Witches"

(Vampires are so cliche)

Anyway. Highly recommended for a silly, light-hearted read. Read in public at your own risk.

Tuesday, 1 December, 2009

More K'naan for you

From NPR's Tiny Desk Concert series. The second song, Fatima, breaks my heart. I well up every single time I hear it.



K'naan's touring right now, so keep an eye out for concerts near you. We saw him in March, and it was the stand-out concert of the year (yes - better than U2), and also made it into my top five gigs of all time.